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my husband wants to take my daughter to Iraq how can I make him understand is not ok?

my daughter is 8 .he has family there .he goes to Iraq every 2 years alone.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:46 PM on Dec. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Simply because it's a war zone, for all the reasons that go with that! Also, frankly, I'm assuming that you're from a Western culture - whether your dd "looks" Middle Eastern or not, culturally, she's going to stand out right now, and, given the upheaval that's going on there right now, it would be very risky for her to be there. Btw - I am NOT saying that all people from Iraq would harm her, or see her as a perfect chance to make a public point, but there are many who would. Does he REALLY want to risk that? I think that many - probably MOST of the parents who are living there with their children wish their children weren't in a war zone, that they were someplace safe - not trying to figure out how to get her there. Honestly, the only reason I can think to do this is if he plans on not returning with her.

    Either way, the good news is, at that age, BOTH parents have to sign (witnessed) to get a passport.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:58 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • I might be wrong, but I believe that if he takes her there, he can keep her there and there is NOTHING you can do to get her home! ~ I would fight this with every bone in my body, even if it lead to a divorce. There is no way on earth that I would let him take her over there....FIGHT this one, momma!

    Answer by christyg at 1:50 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • I agree with the other posters. It isn't safe for her to be there. Period. That alone should make him stop and think. I know he probably just wants her to meet his family and whatnot but that can wait until her life wouldn't be in danger.

    Also, something you might think over-- my mother worked with a woman who had two kids with a Turkish man. She agreed to let them go visit his family and he never returned with them. She hasn't seen them in years and there is nothing she can do about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • yeah if he takes her there, he doesnt have to bring her back ever, over there the man has all the power. dh's dad is from iran and the fam has said, oh come visit, we'll pay ---- to which they got a HELL NO! they can come here if they want to see the kid. quite simply a parent cannot take a kid out of the country without written permission from the other parent. my neighbor is going to Turks and Cacos (sp?) and they had to get passports with the whole fam to be able to take their kids out of the country. he cannot do it without your permission. and if you say no, end of story. tell him you dont want her to die in a road side attack....

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:32 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • Um. If he wants to take HER without you...time for him to stop being your husband.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:55 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • Simply tell him NO. I wouldn't trust it.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 4:28 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • Havent you heard of the movie "Not without my daughter" with Sally Fields? It was based on a true story. He can take her, and won't have to ever bring her back. If you all go, he can still keep her there and you still have no say if she comes back - it's all about the man. HELL NO!

    Answer by KimSanAntonio at 1:31 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

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