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For divorced mothers: how did you tell your children you and their dad were going to seperate?

I have 3 children. 2 boys 6 and 11 and a girl 4. Their dad and I are going to get a divorce and I really don't know how to tell them. Their dad isn't going to help with that. He said the divorce is MY idea so I AM the one who has to figure out how to tell them.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:24 PM on Dec. 10, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (3)
  • well... seeing HIS response, i can see (in part) why you want a divorce.

    if the home life has been bad for the kids because of the two of you, they may be relieved. certainly the eldest is old enough to understand what is really happening. and should be told in a slightly mature way.

    as for the others, this is how i explained once we left... "sometimes people get along better when they don't live together any more, like your father and i. that doesn't mean that we love you any less, or that we don't care about you. it just means that things are going to be a little different, and we all have to work together to get used to that. even though we may not all live together anymore, we are still a family, and should always treat one another with respect. we both love you very much, and want things to be better, which is why we're not going to live together anymore."

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:35 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • Often when parents are going to get divorced the dad isn't around much or isn't emotionally available with the kids. When you separate they may not notice for a few days if you don't tell them. If he is a jerk they may be glad he is gone.

    My children were 2 and 5. They were so excited that we got to have a car all the time that they didn't really care if we were getting a divorce. We had only one car and my husband drove it to work.

    If dads use their visitation time to focus on the kids they may have more dad time when the parents are divorced than when they were married.

    Answer by Gailll at 3:39 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • It is very hard on kids. Those ages are going to be tough.
    You just have to tell them on their level.

    Answer by JLynn0871 at 5:17 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

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