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My husband wants another baby, but i'm not sure?

Im a stay-at-home mom and pretty much do everything for our little guy and still the only one that gets up at night with him and puts him to bed and gives him a bath, i think you get the picture. He still wants another baby and doesn't want them far apart in age, but i don't know if i can do it again and plus one! i've told him i'm not sure if i want one and he told me it broke his heart and hopes someday i will want one, but i don't know!!!!! ;(

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krissayre

Asked by krissayre at 6:18 PM on Dec. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Is it because your just sooo tired right now? I wanted mine spaced out further and actually got pregnant without trying for the second one... they are 20 months apart. I am a sahm and my husband works long hours so I undertsnad how you feel, but once my son was born we worked through the small age gap, and now that they are age 3 and 17 months I'm glad that they are close together, because watching them play is soooo cute! plus its a lot easier now that they can entertain eachother.

    anyways, maybe you should let your husband know that your exhausted, babies are a lot of work and between the two of you maybe you can find some sort of solution.
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 6:24 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • How close in age does he want the kids to be? I have a 2 year old and a 7 month old. It's hard some days but I just look at the good days. How old is your son? Can you compromise with him somehow?
    kimosgirl08

    Answer by kimosgirl08 at 6:25 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • Yes i am exhausted and when he does get home he tries to help, but he changes one diaper and thats it! He plays with him and that helps a lot, but since he's with me all day, he gets where he just wants to crawl all over me and my husband can't really do anything bc he gets frusterated bc little one gries for me. He's 10months. My husband and his brother are 4yrs apart and he wants them closer so they will be close. It feels like it was just last week that i was getting up every 2 hours and then my husband left at 6am and i kind of feel abandond bc he still leaves that early and doesnt get home til 6pm. i feel alone and its just so hard!
    krissayre

    Answer by krissayre at 6:33 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • I know how you feel, the abandoned part, that is. My husband also works long days. He comes home, plays with the kids while I finish up dinner and helps put them to bed. We have three kids. Our oldest just turned three Thanksgiving weekend, next in line will be two on Dec. 27th and the youngest almost 4 months old. I will tell you, with them being so close it is hard, but very rewarding. I don't feel anymore tired than I did when it was just one. But my dh would like more in the next year or two and I am saying no. Not until the older ones are like 5 and 6 so they can help out a little bit more. You know what you can handle. If you really want to wait, talk to your doctor about it. I believe it is recomended to wait two years in between children to let you body recuperate. You can always tell you dh that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:42 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • I'm in the shoes your husband wants you in and from your question I can tell you that you are not ready for #2 yet. I got pregnant with baby #2 when #1 was 10 months old. I got pregnant with #3 when #2 was 10 months old.

    It sounds like you really do know what to do. It sounds like you know you don't want and aren't ready for another baby right now, but you feel guilty about disappointing your husband, so you are on here looking for some support. Having another baby should only happen when both parents are on board, and you just aren't right now.

    Having a toddler and an infant at the same time is a handful. I had to stop my DD from feeding her newborn baby brother raisins and other assorted choking hazards. I had to teach her to stop poking him in the eyes. When he started crawling it was like someone put a bull's-eye on his back inviting my 2 year old to jump on him, etc.
    (cont'd)
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 7:10 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • (cont'd)
    You sound really frazzled with just the one baby right now. When I got pregnant the second time my husband and I were both in a very happy place. We were enjoying our DD. I had fallen into a comfortable rhythm with her (I stay at home too). She was sleeping in bed with us and BFing every 2 ours still, but I was still happy and content and didn't feel worn out, stressed or frazzled.

    You will not be ready for another baby until you find that comfortabl rhythm. Not only is it difficult to have a toddler and newborn at the same time, but being pregnant while taking care of your little one is no fun at all.

    You need to have a serious and honest discussion with your husband. He has no clue how frazzled you are right now or he would not be talking about another baby. You need to let him know how you're feeling so he can help support you before you burn yourself out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:16 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • When your little guy gets a little older, you'll have a change of heart and start wanting a baby again. please don't have a baby unless you really want one. Dont let him pressure you into having a baby.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 10:18 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • ooops, didn't mean to post that cont'd response anon...sorry
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 7:42 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

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