Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you handfeed your toddler/preschooler?

I think that if kids are old enough to feed themselves, they should do it and if they arent hungry enough to eat on their own then they arent hungry and should not be force fed.
My Grama believes in feeding a child until it pops..well will feed my
2 1/2 year old and 4 1/2 year old until they cant swallow anymore. Now when they are home or with me or daddy they want to be fed and I am not able to feed two kids and myself..this causes big fits..screaming..and crying to be fed..I send them away without that mean or wrong of me?

Answer Question

Asked by MamaZena at 9:19 PM on Dec. 10, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 7 (160 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • NO I let her feed herself and I think over-feeding is abusive. (Not to knock your grandma) I'd just gie them a choice feed themselves this or feed themselves that...

    Answer by Seven07 at 9:24 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • I disagree with your Grama.
    Kids need to learn how to feed themselves.
    Kids know when they are full.
    There is no benefit to stuffing a child.

    I have a 2 year old, he can use a spoon and a fork. He can eat soup and cereal with milk, all on his own. Sometimes he likes to be fed, when he's sick or tired. He likes for us to feed him his pizza and cheeseburgers sometimes too, but not the entire meal.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • You know I dont know what is 'right' in this area my kids are 3 and 5 here is what I do YES they can both feed themselves but they eat much better if I feed them.... so Igo by this 1 spoon or forkfull per year of age.... so my 5 year old if she takes 5 spoons of food and is done then so be it she's done but if she just sits at the table (and yes they MUST sit at the table for 15 minutes 2x a day (unless they are sick) I will encourage and feed her until the 5th spoonful then I'm done 3 for the 3 year old if he does it himself that is great if not I encourage up to 3 spoons after that they are on their own

    Oh and I always do the veggie:)

    and yes if they took the 'required' amount of spoons they can have dessert even if they did not finish their meal

    Answer by MELRN at 9:30 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • They have that spoiled by gramma kids get it grandma will wait on my kids hand and foot..and they are usually very indepentdant but after a while with her they forget how to do things for themselves...Grammas are a weird bunch who are set in their ways...don't bother being irritated just tell your kids I'm not gramma and you WILL feed yourselves or go without..

    Answer by feloniousbelle at 9:33 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • Tell your Grandma not to feed them like that! They're your kids!

    Answer by MLM0503 at 9:37 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • My dd is 17 months old, and she feeds herself 50% of the time, and I feed her 50% of the time. She lets me know when she's done eating (by pushing my hand away). As she gets older, I am sure she will be doing most of the spoonfeeding on her own. But until then, I'm thoroughly enjoying helping her. She may be a toddler according to parenting books, but she's still my baby! :-)

    Answer by Fallaya at 9:39 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • I refused to hand-feed my kids past a year or so. They all used utensils fairly well by then, and also knew how to use their hands if they needed. They were all good eaters too. Hand-feeding them past a certain point is just the start of making them lazy as they get older IMO.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • I continued to feed my toddlers messy foods if we were in public, so they didn't make a huge mess, but at home or somewhere I could easily clean them up (my moms, a friends house) I would let them feed themselves.
    They will eat if they're hungry. I have a rule at my house. Dinner is dinner. You either eat it when we do or you don't eat. I think each of my kids has tried it once, but once they figured out that it sucks to be hungry they never did it again.
    I don't think you're being mean. It's best your children know that you mean business.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • My son who is 3.5 years old feeds himself. He learnd at 16 months how to do this. I taught him. He is really good at as well. Plus, he wants to feed himself and wont let anyone feed him. He will tell you he is not baby anymore. My son eats when he is hungry and he knows when he is done.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 11:22 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • My daughter feeds herself unless we're sharing a bowl/plate of food. Even then she will say "Mama, I wanna do it by myself" LOL

    I do thinks it's absurd to feed a child when they are not hungry, especially if they are not hungry because they are FULL.

    Answer by BaisMom at 11:44 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.