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Any Ideas As To Why DD Likes Her Nana More Than Me?

So thats probably not the real case, but that's how I feel. DD (13 months) and I are living with my mom while DF is deployed. And since we got here, DD plays with her nana more than me. And it's not like my mom takes care of her, not by any means, she does help though, I am pregnant, and I have a bum leg, so getting on the floor and rolling around is painful for me. We do play in our own way though. It just seems likes she likes Nana more than me. And I don't try to let it get to me, because in 9 months we will be movin back to WA, and not get to see nana for like a year. Also, it bothers me when my mom slips up and calls herself mama, and the few times she's called my stepdad DD's daddy. Uhm NO. You are not her mother, and he is not her daddy. Besides that, I appreciate my moms help, and love. I don't know guess I am just wanting other mama's to tell me it will be okay, that it's normal, something......

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Sparta.

Asked by Sparta. at 10:32 PM on Dec. 10, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (8)
  • I would say its normal for kids to like the grandmother who spoils them more than mom although they are really closer to you. I wouldn't let it get to you. It's normal. I would enjoy the help while you are there and let your mom enjoy the time she gets with your daughter before you guys have to move. I know as moms we want our kids to love us the most, but I think it's healthy for them to have loving relationships with lots of people in their lives. Trust me there is only one mama and that's you!
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 10:38 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • It's normal for Grandmothers to spoil their grand kids rotten, let them get away with more, play with them more, and generally love them to death. Your feelings are normal, and you gotta take into account your pregnancy hormones got you bouncing all over the place. I'm gonna ask my future grandchildren to call me "Big Momma." Your Mom could never take the place of you, in your daughter's heart or life, so chill. Do whatever you need to do, for yourself by yourself, to feel secure in self. This will make you a better Mom, Daughter and Wife. The trick is to achieve balance: so much time to self, so much time to God, so much time to family, so much time to society, etc.

    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 10:42 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • Trust me I am a step mom and no matter how great I treat these kids I can not take away their mom who is a piece of crap. She abandoned them at 2 and 4 and does nothing for them now other than give them lice when they see her. Kids have alot of love to go around and love you in many different ways. Just enjoy the help that you have while you have it.
    SuzanneL09

    Answer by SuzanneL09 at 10:43 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • Thanks mamas, that does help to hear it from someone else besides DF lol. I do love the help, and am gonna miss it, and my mama when I leave.
    Sparta.

    Answer by Sparta. at 10:46 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • OP, also Nana is "new" since you've moved in. She knows that you'll always be there for her, and I know that you are glad that your Mama is so helpful. (How would you feel if she was scared of Nana and clung to you 24/7 while you are miserable and pregnant with your hurt leg? You'd be "nuts"!) Also, when she slips up and says mama/daddy, she's not trying to replace you, she slipped. I've done it with my nieces and nephews, and it doesn't mean anything. I think you realize that, but are feeling insecure because DF is away and you may be feeling "less than special" because he isn't there with you. But all this will change in another few months and after you have your baby and move, you may be calling Nana and saying, "Can you come get her for a week?" just so you can get some rest, LOL! Enjoy it while you can. Try to see the "pampering" in it, and take care of yourself, too. Glad you posted this.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:01 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • It's easy. nana can be her friend. she doesn't have to discipline and can spoil her. So dd will lean towards her. Mine doesn't know I exist when we go to grandma's house!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • remember, she's been the mom for a LONG time, a slip up of Mama might happen, let your mom enjoy this time too.. Don't worry, she will Know you are her mommy, she does already I am sure, but grandma might just be more fun at this moment, not forever.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:10 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • doodlebopfan, you totally made me cry, not sure why yet, but you did lol. Not in a bad way though :). I'm glad DD loves her nana so much, and most of the time I am glad for the break from having to watch her 24/7 but sometimes I wanna cuddle with her, or love on her, and nope, she has none of that. But then sometimes, she will just randomly come up to me, say maaaa and reach up so i can hold her, and give me a hug. And I am glad my mama gets down on the floor and wrestles with her and all that, cause unfortunately, I won't ever be able to do those things all that much, because of the leg. I think that gets to me too, I won't be able to chase my kids, run around with them, none of that. Maybe one day when the drs finally let me get my knee replacement I will, in 10 years. lol. I totally just realized why i cried. DF isn't here, I never feel special anymore. He's gone, DD wants nana, I just feel....unloved i think...idk why...
    Sparta.

    Answer by Sparta. at 11:15 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

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