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Lesbian question

This is just something I've never quite understood, so if there are any lesbian moms on here that could give me some insight I'd appreciate it!

A lot of lesbian couples I see, most actually, both partners or at least one look very masculine, sometimes you don't even realize they are women at first glance. I went to a gay bar with a gay friend once and at first glance I thought they were all gay men dancing with each other but then realized they were all women.

What I don't understand is why if you are attracted to women are you with someone that looks just like a man?

I get falling in love with a person and not a gender, but I don't think these women are "gender blind", I'm assuming that most lesbians are just attracted to women and not men. So why are you with someone that looks like a guy?

I'm just genuinely curious about this!


Asked by Anonymous at 3:00 AM on Dec. 11, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • How stereotypical do you want to be? I know plenty of lesbian couples wo are very feminine. There are penty o 'feminine' mEn that I find attractive, e.g Jonny Depp, Brian Molko.... But Vin Diesel is just as nice, However I'd rather have Helene Bohem Carter, or Monica Bellucci. People see two women out, and it's just two friends, people only think they're lesbians i one o them looks masculine.
    Maybe we're more willing to have partners that don't fit in with the stereotyical gender-assigned roles. I'm bisexual, and attracted to well, pretty things lol.

    Answer by Piskie at 6:02 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I think girls are hot/pretty/whatever so I would assume that if I were sexually attracted to women I would want to be with a feminine looking woman.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • My co-worker was one of those Lesbian's who dated manly women. I never asked why. Now, she tells everyone that Jesus helped her realize that she was commiting sin by dating women and now only dates men.

    Answer by alejandra559 at 3:09 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I don't get it either honestly, I'm bi but i like nice asses and big tiitties. eff butch.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • i dont know im also bi and i like "lipstick lesbians " i guess ive seen a couple of butches that i thought were pretty...

    Answer by mommy16love at 3:15 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • My husband is very feminine. I must be attracted to women if I go by your theory.

    Answer by jennifercalling at 3:17 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I don't have a theory jennifer, that's why I don't understand it! Your husband might be on the feminine side but I doubt he consciously tries to look like a woman.

    I guess there's a lot of grey area when it comes to gender identity, but I've never been able to totally wrap my head around why two women that look like men would be attracted to each other but not men. Is it more about the actual anatomy?


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:26 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I'm bi-sexual and asked this same question in a lesbian group (who by the way discriminate against bi's). I was told that studs (masculine looking/dressing women) have more masculine traits and are more comfortable dressing as men. Fems (feminine looking/dressing women) have more feminine traits and dress accordingly. Well, I have a lot of masculine traits but don't wanna dress or, per se, act like a man and prefer women who look like women.


    Answer by Ewadun at 7:34 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I wondered that too, about gay men.. if you like men why date a guy that looks and acts like a girl..?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I've kinda wondered the same thing...I would go for girly ones if it were me...but whatever they like I guess ;)

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:16 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

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