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Done having children??

How do you know if you're done having children for sure? What influenced your decision? How old are you and how many children do you have? Have you done something permanent to prevent pregnancy? I am asking because I am happy with just my two children, and I don't want to start over, I feel done and complete, but yet I keep hearing how people regret having permanent procedures done, and it scares me a little.

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starlight1611

Asked by starlight1611 at 9:26 AM on Dec. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (19)
  • Im 41... we currently have a 15, 13, and 8 yr old. I knew with out a doubt that I was done at 3. We waited less than a year after baby 3 for hubby's vesectomy. I get those baby feelings now and again... but am way to smart to go 100% on a feeling and not look at the big picture. We can afford 3 financially, emotionally, and have time for all. We have college accounts for all 3 plus a retirement account, bills are paid, and we have extra for vacations, nice clothes, etc.

    Deciding you are done should be done with the heart AND WITH THE MIND.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I never had any regrets at all. I stoped at 2 kids. I had my youngest when I was 28, I didn't want to have anymore kids after the age of 30 anyways. For me, I hated pregnancy. It was hard phycially and emotionally. I couldn't see putting my body through that again, especially when we had 2 wonderful children at home. They are now 16 and 10 and I have NO regrets WHATSOEVER. Hub and I have a life now. We can have dates without worrying about a sitter half the time, doing things as a family is easier because they are older. It's wonderful. PS, my hub had a vasectomy when our youngest was 6 months old and then a year later I had a hysterectomy. NO regrets lol
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:30 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I AM done. I am only 31 with one child. My preg was complicated and I had a miscarriage first. We always said if we had one we would be happy and grateful or we would stop trying and adopt later in life. So I always knew that 1 is all I would try for. I have a healthy happy child and I get to enjoy each and every important milestone in his growth. I am kinda scared of a "procedure" so I just use birth control and am currently reading info on a IUD GL on your choices. What works for one doesn't work for all.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I only have one child, DH does not want any children of his own. He says he is fine w/ just having my DD around. Sometimes he thinks its selfish of himself to not want kids. But, i think if he knows its something he does not want, then he shouldn't do it.. He says he does not want the extra responsibility & that he wants to still be able to travel if he wants & do things he's never got to do.

    Anyway, I think i am done w/ kids too. I had my DD young, & was not able to do things that my friends were doing in their early 20's. When i became pregnant, i also became very responsible. Never really had a chance to enjoy life without the serious responsibilty of a child.

    So, we have agreed not to have children. ALTHOUGH, we also agreed that if either one of us REALLY wanted to have another, that we would not take that away from eachother & do our best supporting that idea. We're open mindded about our future.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:40 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Hi. I have three kids, my son is 25 years old, then my oldest daughter is 22 years old, and my youngest daughter is 17 years old and I'm 55 years old and my husband is 53 years old, we've been married almost 29 years. All three kids are ours not from any previous relationships. When my youngest was born by csection during that surgery I had my tubes tied too.

    I just knew in my soul not even my brain that I did not have to negotiate with my soul, my soul knew that three was the limit because it wasn't fair for my children for me to keep having babies when the kids I had would always be my babies and need guidance. Obviously the guidance at times is more than others. Sometimes the guidance is only that I must step back and let fate take its course.

    My soul knew more than my hormones and brain that each of my children didn't deserve to get a little bit or a lot lost in a larger family. When I look in a mirror I see my soul.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 9:45 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • lfl 845 here ... "did not have to negotiate with my soul" meant did not have to negotiate with between my brain and hormones - my soul deep inside me guides me. Lots of times if I''ve had difficulty with a decision if I step back and just look at my face in a mirror and look into my eyes for a bit the answer comes better and more definite than thinking any other way. I also knew that I love children as babies and aging into elementary school and as they'd grow older and that I could also have babies and kids in my life by volunteering and working with them in many different ways in communities.

    If you do have more kids planned or unplanned you're still a good mom even with more than you thought you'd ever have no matter who many you might end up with. What's most important is how you care for what you have by planning and unplanned. Again I suggest find some quiet time somehow someday and look in your eyes only your eyes.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 9:54 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I am done although if I could afford more, I probably would have one more, I am 38. We have 4 kids ages 6,7,10,13. When I was pregnant with my unexpected son, what a blessing.

    I realized, I didn't want anymore, actually I was going to stop at my 3rd girl, but he came along, and I am sooo greatful, I believe God works in mysterious ways. He was heaven sent.

    You know when your done, it is not a question, it is a feeling. You feel it in your heart, if you feel your done, then you are.


    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:04 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I figured I got lucky- had a girl when I was 25...then a boy. We did not want them to be far apart and had decided if I wasn't pregnant in 6 months (daughter was about 15 months then) that we would only have one. It happened and I just knew that was it. I was done. It wasn't something we really had to think about. My kids are now 16 and 13 and I can't imagine having (had) more!
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:04 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I am 36 and dh is 46. We have two living children a girl 9 and a boy 5. We lost our girl's twin two hours after they were born at 31 weeks. She is very healthy girl aside from having ADHD. My boy also has ADHD. We found out about a year ago that he has it too. We had always talked about having at least three but when the ADHD came to light we put that on hold. We have done nothing to prevent pregnancy since dh has male factor IF and I recently developed endometrosis:( However,we just had a talk this week about it and we won't have any more as there is a 50/50 chance of ADHD. Since we are trying to give our babies the best chance at having a good life we have them both in a privet school and that is actually more than we can afford but ADHD is not well accomidated in the public school system here. We are already on overload w/the two we have. If god would want us to have another child even w/all our infertility,its up to him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Oh,Our doctor gave us a 1% chance of having children naturally;(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

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