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Should I be bugged by this or just let it go?

I have 50% custody of my 13 year old daughter. My DH has a grown daughter who is 24. His daughter wants to take him out for a dinner and movie for his Bday and wanted to pick an evening to do this. I'm fine with that. My DH said at dinner the other night that a night that I have my daughter should be a night he goes to the bday dinner with his daughter. So next day, she emails him 3 dates for him to choose. 2 of those dates are when I have my daughter. 1 date is a Friday on a weekend we don't have my daughter. He CHOOSES the date where we are kid free and emails it back to her. I wish he had called or emailed me first to ask if that date was OK for blah blah blah reason. I'm just bugged that he chose that day but didn't consult with me first. Am I being a jerk and just forget about it? Or what should I say if anything at all? He is a great guy. Just a little clueless sometimes.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Dec. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • OP here - by the way, it would be just a father-daughter night for his bday dinner/movie.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Just forget about it. It's really not a big deal.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 3:24 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Go watch your own movie! or pamper yourself at home with takeout and a rented movie? Have some "You" time! go out with your girlfriends? Do something fun for yourself while your DH goes out and has his father daughter night! :D
    firethearson

    Answer by firethearson at 3:27 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • OP here - Oh, I have plenty I could do with friends or whatever. It's not that - I was just bugged that he chose our own date night and didn't at least email me and tell me he was considering it. The communication was lacking. Not a sin - just something that bothered me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:32 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I understand why it would bother you. I would be bugged by it too as i SO LOOK FORWARD to date night! After a rough week of work, & kids all the time, it is so nice to have a night off of everything to share w/ the man you love.

    But, he did make the plans, & even though he did not discuss it w/ you, it would not be fare to ask him to change the date. Men are not as thoughful as women are, that's just a fact. So, i would just say let it go. Maybe you can wait up for him & put on a sexy nighty & have some fun when he gets home (unless he comes home w/ DD...lol)

    And let him know how it made you feel. Tell him in a sweet way that you are bummed he will not be home. Let him know he will be missed by you, & maybe in the future, he'll make a wiser choice.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:38 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • There will be plenty of other nights where you guys are kid free.
    I'm a big believer in choosing your battles. This is not one I'd get all huffy about.

    Personally I like it when I get the house to myself for a while. It's bubble bath, wine, and chick flick time! lol
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 4:38 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • If it bugs u that much, ask him to change it. Tell him you want to spend some extra time with him. At least then he'll know that he was inconsiderate in making plans without your approval, and you'll have a chance of still getting that nite out together.
    MirandaLacy

    Answer by MirandaLacy at 6:44 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • i would tell him that it is fine that he chose the day, but to please, next time talk about it. I am sure he wants to be included about decisions with your daughter.. its only fair.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Thank you all for your wonderful responses!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

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