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If his name is on the birth certificate, our son has been living with me, and the father hasn't been around much, can I call the cops if he doesn't bring my son home?

My son's father wants to take him to his family's house for Christmas. I'm worried that if he doesn't bring our son home when he says that he will, there isn't anything I can do.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on Dec. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • My ex did that with my daughter...or tried to, on easter in 08. I called the cops..they escorted me to his house and I got her back (I had to pass a field sobriety test first cuz the jerk told the cops i was on drugs which I most certainly was not)

    Answer by michellelee3708 at 3:49 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • If he doesnt bring him back when he says he is going to then call the cops and tell them you and your sons father made a verbal agreement that he would have her back at a certain time and he did not do that...they will help you.

    Answer by michellelee3708 at 3:50 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • yes you can call the cops if he breaks the custody agreement, or if there is no custody agreement and you've had sole custody just out of mutal agreement, then yes you can call the cops, but i'd verbally agree between each other a time when he is to pick him up, and a time when he is to bring him back, and be excuses. if he doesn't go by what you agreed to, then call the cops, and you can use that to back your story up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • if you are not legally married (and custody/visitation has not been established in court), even if his name is on the birth certificate you are the legal custodial parent by default. he CAN NOT take your child without your permission. that is kidnapping. you can call the police, they will issue an amber alert. he will be arrested, your son will be returned to you.


    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:52 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • My dd had an issue like this, she was not married to the father, he was on the birth certificate, she let him visit and he took the baby back to his home 800 miles away, we called the police here and in his hometown.....nothing could be done legally, since there was no custody agreement filed in the courts both parents had equal rights, who ever had the child could stop the other from taking her/him. My dd finally after several days of begging the father, the police, an attorney, legal aid, child welfare....she got in her car and drove down there, she got there in the middle of the night, parked her car down the street, crept around his house, onto the porch, the front door was unlocked, she opened it and stepped in, the father was asleep on the couch , the baby was asleep on the floor by him, my dd thought "this is my only chance" she crept over scooped up her child and RAN! She called him after she got on the...cont.....

    Answer by robyann at 5:07 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • interstate and told him she had the baby. She now has an attorney working on getting custody established, but until then she will NOT let the father anywhere around her child.

    SO.....I'd say DO NOT let your child go until you have something on paper, legally, and filed in the court!!!!!!!

    Answer by robyann at 5:08 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • omg! don't let him take your child without a coustody order please. my son's father did the same thing. I called the police and they said I couldn't legally do anything about it exept wait for a court date because coustody was not established. here I thought he would get kidnapping charges or something but its perfectly legal. but I wouldn't keep your child from its father either. I would tell him he can come to your house to visit on x mas but if he really wants visitation it should be set up through the court so you can avoid those problems. hope this helps!

    Answer by mommy2Jayden21 at 6:17 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • would like to reiterate that it is NOT legal for the birth father to take the child if the parents were never married. custody LEGALLY defaults to the mother, even if the fathers name is on the birth certificate.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 6:21 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Tell the child's father that you would be more than happy to let him visit with the child but you would prefer that he request visition through the court so that there is no question on when the child should be returned to you. If the order doesn't go through before Christmas, oh well, there is always next Christmas. Better safe than sorry.

    Answer by MirandaLacy at 6:25 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • my daughters father did this to me he got her for a visit and said he was keeping her the cops said since neither one of us had custody there was nothing they could do he could keep her after a long court battle she is with me now we have joint custody with me being the parent she lives with

    Answer by mom2ryneandsam at 6:39 PM on Dec. 11, 2009