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Is my daughter selfish?

My sister came to visit for 2 weeks with her kids. My dd is 5 and my sister's dds are 4 and 6. So they've been here for 3 days and my daughter shares her room with her cousins and she's happy about that. The thing is, she refuses to share her toys, her tv and she's too bossy. She kicks her cousins out of her room whenever they get into an argument because "it's her room" and I've tried talking to her about it in a calm way, I've tried time out, I've tried punishment, taking away a toy she wants.. Nothing works. I know she's an only child and she's not used to sharing her stuff, I have 3 nieces who are the only child and they are nothing like my dd.

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Asked by Emmagr at 5:44 PM on Dec. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (25)
  • Spank her next time she does it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:45 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • id make her share her toys, its only for 2 weeks. tell her you know its hard but its not for long and how would she feel if you guys went to their house and they wouldnt share

    Answer by cakright at 5:47 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Little brat. My niece is like that and she's 11!!! Make her change while she's still young.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:49 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • My daughter is NOT a brat!! She's an amazingly nice little girl who is just out of her routine right now. She's just not used to having other kids living in the house so sharing is not something she has had to do a lot in her life. Shame on you ANON for calling her a brat.

    Answer by Emmagr at 5:51 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • ignore that comment spanking????????????????????????????????
    It's hard on a child when their room, toys,etc has to be shared with others.
    It's a social thing and she needs practice.
    start of slowly with a play date and move on she's get there in the end.
    She is still young and as you said she is an only child and every child is different, you can't compare her to others.
    Give her time and take small steps with her in the art of sharing with others.
    best of luck

    Answer by laika at 5:51 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Um I would either take the stuff, or tell her she has to share! IDK why a 5 year old has a TV in their room anyway, hopefully no cable-LOL, ALL toys would go away until she was willing to cooperate, also maybe a trip out without her, so she could play with "her" toys without being bothered! I think she might see the picture, DS is an only child, and this worked well!

    Answer by kimigogo at 5:52 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Make her share all her toys except for one. Let her pick out one special toy that she doesn't have to share. If you find that she is taunting them you can use that toy as the discipline simply by taking it away.
    The next time she kicks her cousins out of the room because they are arguing go in there and take HER out of the room and let the cousins stay and play. I wouldn't normally suggest this because it is HER room. BUT 2 weeks is a long time. She has to learn to be nice to her guests.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 5:54 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Ugh, anon, call her a "little brat" under your real ID...."big coward"!!!

    She isn't selfish at all, she's 5 and an only child and not used to having to share her things. These nieces visiting are sisters and used to it. Just tell your daughter that you understand how you understand her feelings about how these are her things and her room, but she has to understand that she needs her cousins to feel welcome. Tell your daughter that someday she may visit them and she wouldn't feel very good if they yelled at her to get out of their room....or to not play with her toys.

    Then perhaps to stop bossiness suggest that the girls take turns deciding what they should all do together.

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 5:55 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Oh. and i agree with the PP who said to let her have her space. Take the other kids out for a few ours and leave your DD home with you husband or whomever.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 5:56 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Oh, she had a TV in her room but only for DVDs. She can't watch any channel on that TV except the cartoon network and disney channel. Anyway, thanks everybody (except the ANON) for the advice.

    Answer by Emmagr at 5:58 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

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