Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

ok guys need your help here?

So i am dating this guy and together we have three kids. mine go with there father every weekend and he gets every other weekend. so we tried to schedule it so a couple weekends we have to ourselves right...well my ex canceled on me the day before my big outing over thanksgiving and so we had my kids and couldn't go do anything right...well he knew we needed time alone...well we had his daughter last weekend and my kids! so this weekend was supposed to be just us..then he decides to tell his ex..well yes i will take my daughter for my off weekend..i was super upset cause it was our weekend.
Now we have her, i am not jealous of her just wanted some time alone with him without kids ya know.

am i being selfish or anything?

what should i do?

Answer Question

Asked by power2him at 6:51 PM on Dec. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Alone time is great but sometimes shit happens.

    He gets every other weekend so that what, 4 days a month? How do you think you'd feel if you only got to see your kids 4 days a month?
    You need to just roll with it.

    Answer by Gealach at 6:54 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Well, without sounding too harsh about it....if the 3 kids were both of yours you'd have them everyday, every weekend, anyway. That's the life of a parent. Yes we all need time to be a couple without the kids, so hire a babysitter if you don't have a relative who can watch them.

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 6:54 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I agree with mom2jack04, you have all the other times to be together, when the kids are in bed too.. he should be able to see his daughter as often as possible. she doesn't see him that much as it is. if he only gets her every other weekend there are pleanty more weekends to do the alone thing.. good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:00 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Kids will/should always come first. Divorce sucks for everyone. Nobody makes out better than anyone else. This will be a forever struggle. I'm 51, divorced since they were 8......just speaking from experience.

    Answer by EireLass at 7:13 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I understand your dilemma. My husband gets his daughter 3 wkends a month and the one he doesn't get her, he has to work. So we don't have any alone time either, OR a babysitter ever. Being a parent is a VERY hard job and you do deserve a break and some alone time.

    Sometimes we put the kids to bed early and rent a movie and have pizza and pretend like we are having a romantic date lol. Or put them to bed early and invite friends over for cards or a board game. Another idea if you do have your kids, make the most of it!! take them to the movies, putt-putt, chuck e cheese, mcdonalds, you get the idea. We have so much fun playing with our kids and acting like kids ourselves. make the most of your time with your kids :o)

    Answer by MirandaLacy at 7:13 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I think it's great he put his daughter first. I would expect any dad to do the same thing.

    And I agree with previous post, if they were all yours together, you guys would have them every weekend. I would certainly not be upset about him wanting to see her an extra weekend out of the month. Sorry to sound harsh.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:17 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.