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My Sister in law hates me.

When my hubby and I started dating his sister came over to my friends house were I lived and asked me if I throw rocks through his mothers windows or knew who did. I told her no. I didn't know my hubby then. Since that day she has hated on me and has never once said anything nice to me. One fourth of July her and her bf got drunk and she was yelling and I heard what she was saying without trying and she accused me of being the reason her tubes were tied and her kids were taken away. My hubby just let her say that and the next day she remember and never told me I ma sorry b/c She wasn't. Then when my second daughter was born she told me she wanted ot be at the hospital and then instead of coming she got drunk and never told me sorry. She never apologizes and hubby never says anything to her. He lets her talk to him like hes 2. SHe acts like his mom/wife and hates me. What can I do? Has anyone ever been through this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:54 PM on Dec. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • She sounds toxic. I would be thankful that she didn't show up at the hospital while you were in labor. I would just stay away from her and ignore her craziness. Is she on drugs or mentally ill? Because she sounds like it.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 8:58 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I have a bunch of sisters in law. One only talk to me with relatives present or friends if I talk to her first. I've decided silence is better than her and I don't see her any more.

    You've got a family a man - tell her if she wants to get together ever again that you'll see her in a mall where there's a ton of people for protection and witnesses.

    It'll be too noisy and busy for the two of you to fight most likely. Every time she hints at trouble quick change the subject you allways have the choice of a change of subject to "oh NO Johnny's getting sick I can tell, GOTTA GO!!!!"
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 9:01 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • The key words you said is that this woman is basically a drunk and her behavior when not drunk (dry drunk) isn't better. Their behavior is delusional, irrational, toxic and self denial. Obviously you have no experience with alcoholics and I highly recommend you go to Al-Anon or at least get some of their pamphlets so that you can better understand why your husband is wise to ignore her. It is unrealistic to expect a person to give what they ain't got. She isn't a friend to herself, how can she be yours? She doesn't love or respect herself, how can she love or respect you? Remember this always, for your peace of mind: A flea is a parasite, that has no power until it joins with a host. Don't feed into or be fed off of. Other than that, because she is your husband's sister, learn to love her unconditionally (this doesn't mean cosign her bs) until she learns how to love herself. Who knows?

    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 9:19 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Btw, yes, I go through this all the time with my own blood brother. I've learned it's far better to love him from a distance with a long handled spoon. My own Mother has just realized that her  (47 yr old) son just might have a serious problem???? It took my sister to accuse me of being a fool, for arguing with my drunk brother, to realize the wisdom of her statement. Believe me it takes far more character to turn the other cheek. If I can do it, I believe that you can too. Bind her with the power of prayer, as I've my brother. Filling yourself up with spiritual principles and putting them into practice will save you a world of confusion, chaos and pain.

    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 9:26 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

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