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No bashing plz!! My husband and I planned this pregnancy and now..he is gone!!

Ok.. so Ill try to make this long story short..
My husband lives in another state.. we were seperated for 6months..
he came to visit me and we were doing great and we planned on a baby..
things happened..now I am pregnant..
he left to his home state before i could find out for sure if i was pregnant or not...
Now he says to leave him alone and he is filing for divorce...
why?... his excuse.. people are telling him I cheated... that he saw a picture of me kissing another man..
oh.. and another thing.. he says he doesn't believe it is his baby...
H.E.L.P!!!.. should I just give him time... or should I wait to get served and sign the divorce papers..? Remember... this is my husband.. and I love him!!.. and I AM PREGNANT! This is my second child I am 22 and I can't do it alone. =[

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Dec. 11, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Are you sure he wasn't just feeding you some sh!t to get some because he was desperate for sex? I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but it's happened. It sounds like he's making up excuses to divorce you, or either someone close to him is telling him some lies. (Unless this is true). Call him up, demand to know who said it then confront them in person right in front of your DH. All else fails, get a DNA test done, and slap his ass hard with some child support.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 AM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • 22? Did you cheat? was there a picof you kissing a man? Is he the father?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • You can do it alone. Sue him for custody and get childsupport.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • It sounds like he's rather serious about this divorce. Of course, you'll only find out how serious he is when you finally have those papers in hand. It might be that he just needs time or maybe he's interested in someone else right now. But, if you decide to hold out until he serves you divorce papers that is your perogative but, I believe that if you feel he is really serious about this divorce then you may want to go ahead and see a lawyer and get your own papers drawn up with you having custody of the baby. Then, when it is time, you should have a DNA test done. You won't be able to ease his mind if he keeps insisting that you cheated. Whether he is using it as an excuse or not doesn't seem to matter because he seems like he is moving on. Best of luck to you...get help from family and friends and if available, someone with a good lending ear!
    AWomansMind

    Answer by AWomansMind at 11:51 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Not trying to bash, but why would you try and get pregnant if he was just visiting?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • If you didn't cheat on your husband, then you must draw a hard line and stand on it: 1) Tell him that no man/woman has the right to put our marriage asunder. Demand that he also consider the messenger's motivation and not just message, 2) Remind him that you have a constitutional right to meet your accuser, that you haven't surrendered your gavel for anyone to judge you, short of God, 3) Chances are when men feel insecure about you cheating, it's because they are actually the ones cheating and 4) If your marriage doesn't have a foundation of honesty, trust and love, then your marriage requires a lot of work or is lost. Many women have raised their children alone, I have, and so can you. I would contest the divorce, making it more expensive for him, and demand child support. Let him challenge paternity. You ain't got time to cry.

    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 11:58 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • ugh
    sgtdemanda

    Answer by sgtdemanda at 12:21 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • It depends...did you cheat? If you did then you may as well wait for the divorce papers. Even him assuming something so hurtful as to say that the child isn't his would be grounds enough for me to throw in the towel. Those are words you just cant take back.
    You can do it alone. Think of all the women who have. Dont let that be your reason, either you are in it for love or you're better off without him.
    jenellemarie

    Answer by jenellemarie at 1:20 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • since u r still married and ur prego he is automatically assumed to be the father since u r married and if u do get divorced ur state will assume he is the dad and go 4 child support unless he takes a DNA test to prove otherwise 2 girls at my work r having a similar problem they were married and were no longer with there ex's but didnt have the money to file 4 divorce and while they had been broken up for 2 yrs they were still legally married and they both got prego by other guys that were not there husband and now the state is saying that there noe ex husbands r the dads when they arent and the state is trying to go after there ex husbands for child support and want them to put them as the dads instead of the bio dads so the bio dads have to take a DNA test to prove they r the dads
    monroemommyof2

    Answer by monroemommyof2 at 1:26 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • I don't know what to tell you. For the sake of all those younger women reading this, take it to heart and notice that her situation was NOT secure and what can happen when you get pregnant in that kind of circumstance.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

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