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Should I let my daughters dad see them?

I have been divorced for 4 yrs. and since than my exhusband has not been part of my girls life. I moved to another state afte we go split up. For 2 yrs he made the excuse that they my daughters are to far form him. I decided to go back to where he was at so he could be with them, but even than he wasn't. He once went to see my oldest for her 6 yr bday n argued with me that same day n left her. She begged him to stay crying her eyes out but he didnt care. I gave him a chance again after awhile n on halloween he stood them up again. My oldes is really hurt n Im really hurt. But now after a year he calls me again askin to see them n i dnt know what to do. Im scared that he might hurt them again. He expects us to forget only because he feels remorse for what he did. But it isn't about him is about my daughters feelings n my mom thinks im just bein a jerk! Help me I dnt know what to do. What is the right thing to do?

Answer Question

Asked by karibroken at 12:21 AM on Dec. 12, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • Tell him to kick rocks. He's hurt them one too many times and he will continue to do so and cause more damage down the road. Tell him that until he mans up and actually is involved with their day to day lives, that he can stay the hell away. He has to earn back that trust he shattered with your girls.

    Answer by randi1978 at 12:25 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • I think the right thing to do is to protect your kids. And if keeping him from them is what you need to do in order to do that, then so be it. If he really wants to see them, tell him to go to court and get visitation. Then if he stands them up when it's his time with them go back to court and tell the judge or your lawyer...he always lets them down and he never shows up and it's killing's not fair. I want him out of their lives...and maybe just maybe he wont even be ALLOWED to see them. If it's not a healthy relationship for your kids...there shouldn't be a relationship period. That's what I think...but then again, I may be a little bias because I have a JERK for an ex and I don't want him having ANYTHING to do with my DD. Anyhow...good luck. I'm sorry he keeps doing this =(

    Answer by michellelee3708 at 12:27 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • Well I think that you should do what you feel is best for your daughters. It seems like he doesn't care. But he is the father of your children. Maybe you need to explain to him how much pain he has caused coming in and out of there life's. That if he wants to see his daughters he needs to prove it. That you may be able to give him another chance. But if it happens again your done. That you would not like him to see them anymore. But at the same time maybe you should just leave the door open. Because cutting him off, Could lead to being the bad guy in the end. Like I am sorry girls I wasn't in your life. Your mom said I wasn't aloud to see you. Your daughters will see that. That mom let us see daddy. Daddy just never came. You know what I am saying but only you can make the final decision. Well I hope you well.


    Answer by akmami0f4 at 12:31 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • At first i was going to give him another chance when he asked me. Yesterday my daughter turned 9 n the first thing she remember was when her dad walked out on her bday. That changed my mind n decided not to make her go thru that. I asked if she wanted to talk to him but she said "no mommy he hurt me alot n im not ready to forgive him yet" Can u guys believe that she is only 9 n she thinks like a grown up. The thing that hurts most is that i told him about it n he got mad n his like well how long do i have to wait cause im not going to keep callin u. Can u believe this guy? I just told him that if he wanted to be part of their lives he should care how long he has to wait I mean he didnt care for 4 yrs right? Why should i care about how supposedly he suffered!!

    Answer by karibroken at 12:41 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • i would say yeah but dont tell her and see if he shows up and if he dont then tell him he cant tell shes older or just let her chose shes 9 so let her chose but let her know he might stand her up or do what he did when she was 6 good luck

    Answer by myangelelena at 2:28 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

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