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ugh I just want to kick him!

Ive been having terrible back pain today. I went about my day didnt complain. Cleaned the house, did all my business. Before I went to bed I asked him if he would rub the spot that hurt. He said he would after he finished his sandwhich, he was also playing a video game. So im waiting & waiting & fall asleep in bed. I wake up 3 hours later & he is still on that game. He has work at 5 in the AM. If he wants to stay up all night thats his problem, but he could have paused the game to rub a spot on his NINE MONTH pregnant wifes back! I do everything for him.. It's a relationship where I want him to always be happy & he could care less if I get the same in return(or so it seems sometimes). I get up & get him things, make him things, get him more, ask if he needs anything else... ugh! tonight just pissed me off. I dont ask for anything from him. Im awake now with an incredible back ache. What would you have said/done?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:12 AM on Dec. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I'd say a good kick would do him some good ;p

    Answer by BabyMomma1982 at 5:34 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • Just curious, how old is he? I see this complaint alot about hubbys playing dumb video games all the time. Thats okay when I was in labor in the hospital having very pain ful contractions my stupid husband turned the tv on and tried to watch sports. HA!!! Men are so dumb sometimes.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:54 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • I am soooo thankful my DH is mature enough that he doesnt play video games - to answer your question- apparently theres nothing you could have said or done to make him rub your back. If he didnt care enough to stop right then and do it then he just didnt care.

    Answer by TwistofCain at 5:59 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • You need to stop waiting on him hand and foot. He can do things for himself. And you need to stop believing that just because you treat him in a certain way, he will treat you the same. He is who he is, and no matter how much you love him and serve him, you do not have the power to make him one bit different. You have to accept him just the way he is, and you have to draw yourself some boundaries and you are going to have to be the one to enforce those boundaries. There is behavior that can be tolerated, and there is behavior that should never be tolerated. You have to decide what those limits are, and those you can enforce. The ones you won't tolerate, you will have to make consequences for. As long as he can do exactly as he pleases and you tolerate everything to the same extent, he has no incentive to want to be any different from what he is now. That's the only power you have--make him see the need to change!

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:49 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • First off quit treating him like a king. It's a marriage and should be fifty - fifty. You are enabling him and now he thinks he doesn't have to pull his weight and give back to you. Stop that. Next, learn that you can take care of things yourself. What if he was not around? What would you do then? Get a tennis ball or vibrator and massage the spot yourself. Put the tennis ball on the floor or the wall and put the spot on the ball and press and roll (you can find examples online under back exercises). You can also do gentle stretches that won't harm the baby. I live alone and have terrible back pains some days. I learned to take care of it myself. You can too. Quit stressing over dad bc when you stress you stress baby.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:33 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

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