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babys father wants to take son out of town last minute

Okay so at midnight last night my sons dad starts asking for him and his mom to take my son nolen out of town, i have met this lady once and shes nice. And he is usually okay with him but i really do not trust him alone with my son. I was asked to go two weeks ago with him and was going to take off work but then he said he wasnt going until last night. So now i have to work. Each other times hes went with his family he gets stuck in that town and dosint get out for a few days. My parents cover alot of Nolens expenses cuz im poor and so i let them have a say too. They arent for it, My sons dad has swore at my son and hates crying so i dont feel comfortable with my son going out of town with people i barely know and him. I dont know how to put this in a nice way. Hes already said if i dont let him hes not ever talking to me again, i always get put in this situation. But this is last minute and its really not fair on my part.

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jaelynsmama07

Asked by jaelynsmama07 at 9:57 AM on Dec. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (27 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Absolutely NOT!!!! You don't have to send your son w/ anyone you're not comfortable w/ sperm donor or not!!!!
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:59 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • Just tell him that you would think it would be better for him to stay here, because you already made other plans for your son since he wanted to wait till the last moment to tell you whats up. He only needs to talk to your baby not you so tell him "bite me" I hope everything works out.
    armywife2009101

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 10:01 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • Its not fair on his part to spring this on you @ the last min. You had plans, he cancelled them & now he wants to go w/ out you: Oh hell no. If you let him take your son you are also setting it up for this to occur again in the future. What a fn baby "If you don't let me take my son I'll never speak to you again!" Good!!!! Don't let him guilt you into something you know isn't best for your baby. Your the mamma, protect your son.
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 10:01 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • I say no! don't let him go. You feel it is wrong, so go with your feelings!!
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:15 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • I know, my son is 6 months, and i understand he wants his family to come, but if it was important to them they wouldve came and met him by now. I just told him no im just waiting for all the guilt trip texts to come, he is so mean when it comes to that. like he just sent a text saying hes going to court for 50/50
    jaelynsmama07

    Answer by jaelynsmama07 at 10:32 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • but he barely has a job, he has swore at my son and i find that no good, he has anger problems, no absolute stable place of living. Ah this is stressful.
    jaelynsmama07

    Answer by jaelynsmama07 at 10:34 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • You have too many reservations to go against your gut. If it was just one thing that made you uncomfortable, I would say give in. It seems you have a variety of reasons to say no, so stick with that. Not sure what your custody agreement says, so you may have no choice. If that is the case, you should take some time and get the custody agreement to where you do have a say in this type of matter. Good luck Momma!
    wildboyz1994

    Answer by wildboyz1994 at 10:50 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • Stand your ground. YOU are the mom and apparently spend more time with your child, so you know what is best for him. Trust your gut feeling, your mommy instinct. The father can not spring this on you at the last minute. I'd say no, because you aren't comfortable with your child being away from you for a length of time.
    robyann

    Answer by robyann at 11:06 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • I would take him up on the "not speaking to me again" thing. That way you don't have to deal with it! You didn't mention how old the child is but he sounds young so no I would not let him take the child out of town. Just make sure child support goes through the courts and then you don't need him to talk to you anymore.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:38 AM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • Just Say NO. He will speak to you again although it might be better if he doesn't. If he is swearing at your son what is he going to do when he is alone with him and the baby will not stop crying. Babies sense things and when his dad gets upset so will he and he will cry even harder. Don't let him go you may never see him again or .... I am just saying listen too the news reports about stuff like this. It is not a good idea. And take it from someone that know it sounds like he could be a very abusive person and that wont be good all the way around. just say no!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

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