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non existant sex drive and miserable DH, help please!!!

I'm 22 and 5 months ago I gave birth to my DS. I haven't had a sex drive yet. My DH isn't happy about this and thinks I've lost interest in him. How can I get my sex drive back? Has anyone else been in this situation before? I hear you can take testosterone but will that give me a stache or chest hairs or something? lol

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Asked by mandi_m at 5:00 PM on Dec. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Level 7 (168 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Most women go through that after birth.
    You either give up or try to get in the mood it's hard I know I have a 2 year old and a 2 month old baby.
    But to keep my marriage strong I'll try to fix myself up a little and try and get in the mood for my hubbies sake.
    Once every 2 weeks I give him a treat :)
    You'll get there in the end and you'll find your spark again promise, just don't give up lol.

    Answer by laika at 5:08 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • I've never even given birth and I dont care about sex 1/2 the time LOL..
    I usually put out to please him though.. Maybe have a romantic night together,, or watch dirty movies together? if you still really dont want to buy HIM dirty movies and oil lol.. tell him to have fun and you will come around eventually..

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 5:19 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • 19 months post partum and my sex drive is still practically a no go! When SO and I have sex, my drive kicks I guess te chemicals which trigger the power switch are malfunctioned lol. In your case, as with many, could be a hormone inbalance, could be exaustion and/or from caring for the baby (and you may or not even be aware of this)

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 5:22 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • this is how i was, almost ruined my marriage. I say you're going to have to figure out what gets you in the mood. Kinda force yourself to get horny whatever it may take. I eventually got back in the mood and things are better than ever!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • I have had this problem before and yeah my DH also took it as a personal thing. I would be honest with him and tell him its nothing against him. Maybe try and take special one on one time. If I just couldn't get up the drive I tried to at least please him better than ever, so he wouldn't feel rejected

    Answer by Taylor82 at 6:10 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • Your hormones have not gotten balanced. Tell him to either hang in there or pay for a dr visit so you can get your hormones tested.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:15 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • I had this problem with both of my kids. It usually took me 18-19 months to feel back to normal. I pretty much had to force myself to offer it every once in a while for his sake. It just takes some time to get back to normal.

    Answer by flowrchild77 at 7:15 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • I cannot relate to this at all. I had three children and back then, we were told to wait six weeks before resuming intimacy. It was the longest six weeks of my life every time. None of my friends ever had this problem either, so I have to think it has to do with something other than just having given birth. The only times I did not want to be intimate with my husband have been when I was angry with him, so I have to wonder if somehow there isn't some latent anger involved in the lack of intimacy following child birth now days. I just don't think it is hormonal as so many of the younger women want to think. I don't think times have changed all that much, at least not in the sex department.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:32 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

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