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I 'm stressed about my 14Y/O daughter she is a loving person but is failing at school and has been gaugeing her ear's without my knowing and smoking and lying to me about any and everything help!

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Asked by DanaAlise at 5:26 PM on Dec. 12, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (10)

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:28 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • bust her ass? seriously?
    I think that you two need to talk...find out what is going on with her you know? honestly I don't see gaugeing her ears as an issue...but the smoking and grades-yes. personally I think the advice of "busting her ass" will ultimately make things worse but to each their own I guess...

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 5:53 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • She could be hanging out with the wrong crowd.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • Sounds like a child screaming for her parents to set boundaries and expectations of her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • The ear gauging thing is not that big of a deal. I understand you may not want her to but compared to smoking ,letting her grades drop and lying it's kind of a small issue. Try talking to her first if that doesn't work maybe talk her guidance counselor at school?

    Answer by kendra1417 at 8:32 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • i have a14 yr old girl who not only have done the same things but she came homewith a tatoo at 11 from "school". the spanking your child thing will only back fire, especially if she learns how social services works. the law states you can spank your child only with yourhand and not hard enough to redden the skin or leave even a temporary mark. my chid cried wolf to child protective services every time i wouldn't let her stay ot with boys steal sty home from schol or try to ground her . i never even whipped her, iv'e been fighting this battle since she was 7. they take all children not just one,schools and other outlets teach kidshow to get help but for the rebelious and wild it shows them how to get what ever they want at whatever the cost. well after 8 years ofsocial services in/out of our lives they finally realized she needed a different kind of help. shes now in a psychiatric/rehab/detention center for girl.just pray

    Answer by nicole8231977 at 11:56 AM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • Sounds like she needs more attention, I mean honestly how can you possibly NOT see that she is gauging her ears?

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • "Sounds like a child screaming for her parents to set boundaries and expectations of her."

    Yup. Except the gaugeing her ears part, she may just like the way they look. A lot of kids go through that kind of phase when parents aren't giving them what they want. I sure did--as soon as I hit about 12 I wanted guidance from my mom and she never took the time to teach me how to be a woman. Nobody I was close to made an effort to show me what it was to be responsible or productive, so I made friends with a bunch of kids who didn't care about being that way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:04 PM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • Sorry but i think id be the most pissed about the ear guaging. That takes freaking cosmetic surgery to fix and it looks nasty when ur ear lobes are drooping to ur chin. You do need to talk to her but she needs to be grounded as well. And if ya havent busted her azz in the last 5 years doing it now isnt gonna work.

    Answer by Sandyr911 at 5:22 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • You need to spend some one on one time with her.  Talk to her about her school and friends.  If she won't open up to you then maybe find another adult that she is comfortable with.  I am all for spanking, but I don't think that would help at this point.  Severe grounding, like emptying her room except for clothes and bed.  Only allowing her to go to school and come home. 

    That is all I have.  My oldest is a 16 y/o boy, but that is what I would do if I caught him doing those things.  We have a good relationship and he knows what we expect from him.  He also knows that his dad will put a foot in his ass. 

    Good luck and I hope you get it figured out..


    Answer by dawnjohnson5 at 2:15 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

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