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Do i have the right to be angry?

Ok so my hubby is in iraq and i was talking to him on skype today. Well i was sitting in our big chair with our 7mo feeding her a bottle while talking to him. My 4yo autistic daughter still wears diapers and she decided to take it off and run around the house. So i have my 5yo come sit with the baby and talk to her dad while i change my 4yo. I know bad idea i was in a hurry so i could get back on with him and in those 2min my baby falls aff the chair i come running pick her up and she quits crying and is fine. Well my dh gets really mad at me and tells me if she ever falls and breaks her neck he's going to hurt me. Well this upset me cause first of all it was an accident and second of all she was fine but it upset me most because he hurt me b4 he left. And not only that whenever he gets mad he says really hurtful things and then always says he's sorry and does it again later on... continued

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Dec. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I know i was wrong for leaving her there but i think he took it too far and i dont know what to do anymore he makes me feel like a bad mom and im not:(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • You don't have to be in a relationship with someone you hits you, harms you, or threatens to harm you. That is a bad situation to put your kids in. Leaving an abusive marriage sucks. It is a ton of paperwork. But it is way better than being injured or dead and unable to protect your children.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 8:02 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • He is abusive, both physically and verbally.
    He needs to get counseling before he comes home. You need to make it clear that it is NOT ok for him to treat you like that.
    The kind of relationships we have mold what our children think is acceptable in a relationship.

    Would you be ok if your daughter grew up and married a man that did the same thing to her?
    Gealach

    Answer by Gealach at 8:03 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • OP, what I'm concerned about is when he returns home he may have PTSD. People with that can become violent.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:10 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • Accidents do happen, babies fall, bump into things, sometimes mom, dad or a family member drops them. Babies roll off the bed, couch and sometime try to climb out of their cribs.. Point is you did not intend for the baby to get hurt. You thought the baby was safe with the older child until you returned. Your hubby has not right to scare you, hit you or even threaten you. He needs help and until he gets it, I would not allow him near me or the children. Stress from war can place even more stress on a person and if he was abusive before the changes he will continue are great, the change of him being worse is also a probability. Think about yourself and your children.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 8:12 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • Yes, I agree you have reason to worry. You need to get counseling NOW before he comes home. You need to tell them everything. It also would not be a bad idea to get some money saved up in case you need it to go out on your own. You need to hope for the best and prepare for the worse. Get yourself help and most of all take care of yourself and those little ones!
    wildboyz1994

    Answer by wildboyz1994 at 8:14 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • OP here... he does have PTSD
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • I got fed up with my ex and his threats when he told me he'd kill me if the kids ever got sick, they better not even catch a cold or ima kill you! I told him kids get sick, he said I don't care you better do what it takes so that they don't get sick so I don't have to kill you! Threats with him always came before the hitting. He'd stop for a little while, and then the threats would start again, and soon the hitting. You and your kids deserve better!!! I regret having 3 kids with that man and I love my kids dearly but I wish I had never met him!!!! Put your kids first, you don't need them hating daddy for hurting mommy! A lesson I learned the hard way!!! Once they hit, they don't stop with out help, and they sincerely need to want to change for it to work. Good luck and best wishes!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • Did you ever think to put the baby in the floor and change the 4 yr old close by so you can watch them and let the 5 yr old talk to dad?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:42 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • Yes admckenzie i already said what i did was a mistake but there was no need 4 him to go as far as he did
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

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