Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

biracial grandaughter

ok all HELP!!! i am the grandmother/mother to 2biracial kids my daughter omg!! she will only deal with us (family)we are blk, outside the house she will not speak are anythig to anyone of color but let someone white speak to her she is like HIIII play with her hair ect ect,, quick to call us brown and she is white!! tonight omg she said mama u brown and me and my brother are white we are the same color this is everyday how do u deal with this? my son told her she was brown she said i am not brown then looked at me and said mama am i brown i said yes she said DANG!! and walked away she is 5yrs old,,her sister is brown/not biracial,,(blk) any ideal how to deal with this?

Answer Question

Asked by 6carebears at 11:23 PM on Dec. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Level 6 (105 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I suggest sitting down with her and explaining to her that she has white family and black family. Tell her that she should be proud of both families and that both families lover her just the way she is.
    Is she in school yet?

    Answer by ronjwake at 11:30 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • wait, your biracial daughter is 5yrs old is denying that she's black, did i get that right? If i did, maybe you can take her to a museum about black history and talk to her about being proud of both of her races.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • I think that as a grandmother, it would be appropriate to bring g it to your child's attention. The parent's of your grandchild. It is their right and responsibility to educate their children regarding their heritage and background.

    I think that if my MIL or my own mother took it upon herself to address any of this with my child, I would be livid. I am in a biracial marriage and I won't welcome anybody but my husband and/or me to teach our child regarding this delicate issue. Make sure your good intentions aren't mis- interpretated by any of the parents and let them do the parenting. Don't concern yourself with things that are the parents responsibility to address.

    Answer by bebita at 11:56 PM on Dec. 12, 2009

  • When I was a preschool teacher, I had a similar situation with a biracial girl in my class. Her mother was white, and she wanted to be white just like her mom (although she had tan skin, like a lot of biracial children with one black parent do). Well, one day, we were talking about skin color, and one of the kids said, "Candace, your skin in brown". Well, she had a fit! She yelled, "No I don't! I'm white like my mommy!!!". I didn't know what to say or do. I think it was because her father was not in her life, and so her whole identity revolved around her white mother and her white relatives. It was only natural that she would want to fit in with her mom's side of the family, and wanted to look like them.

    I think someone told your granddaughter that having brown skin was wrong, which is unfortunate. She probably heard it in school or something. Talk to her mom and tell her what you've told us. Good luck.

    Answer by Fallaya at 12:48 AM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • I have no idea what any of that said.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • Hey, I'd be embarrased If I was black too. Give the girl a little slack.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.