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Whose responsibility is transportation?

My ex is mad that I won't either drop off or pick up my son when he sees him. I think if he wants to see him he can do the driving. It is no more than 30 minutes each way.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:12 AM on Dec. 13, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • I think it's your ex's responsibility to do the driving. At least that's how it works for us. She picks up the girls every Friday and brings them back Saturday. And he lives 1,5 hr away.
    lovemytwinsters

    Answer by lovemytwinsters at 9:16 AM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • I think that for your child's sake it would be fair to share the responsibility. It was not the chlid's choice to be put in this position so both parents should make an effort to make all transactions be as smooth as possible. How is this kid going to feel when he realizes how much 'trouble' it is for his father and mother to pass him back and forth? Meet in the middle. If it is becoming an issue bring it up to the lawyers and let them decide then put it in writing. To me it seems like a silly thing to be mad over on both sides. No I am not in that exact situation but I DO see my niece as 'visitation' Her father is out of state so we haev always taken his time. We pick her up at her house and they pick her up at mine. Sometimes we meet in the middle. She is 45 min away. That's just me though. I guess I could be wrong.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 9:24 AM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • We have always done whoever is taking the kids to their house drives. On the week that SS mother has him she comes to get him. Then when it is our week we go get him. That way it is 50/50 that only seemed fair to all of us.
    Carajust

    Answer by Carajust at 9:25 AM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • If you have court papers, it should be addressed in them. My personal opinion is that it should be 50/50. That's the way we work it with my step son. On Fridays my hubby goes and picks him up from his mother's house, and on Sundays she comes to pick him up from our house. It's a 30 min one way drive, and this way we both share the cost of gas and such. She tried once to say that we had to do all the driving, and I told her flat out I will not bring him home. If you don't want the responsibility of coming to pick up your son, than I will consider him abandoned and he can just stay here.
    my2.5boys

    Answer by my2.5boys at 9:33 AM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • in most cases here it is legally put in the divorce, or custody papers, that is is either mom will pick up the child and dad goes gets them from mom, leaving them both to make one trip, or they meet half way both times. It is only fair, like pp said, not the child's fault. And like you said, it's no more than 30 minutes.
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 9:39 AM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • I have a friend who has to p/u his DD and then drop her off every time he gets her. I don't' think that this arrangement is fair. The divorce is yet to be filed and the mother lost her liscense and hasn't replaced it yet (been 3 years). Her BF refuses to drive and get this little girl even half way. I know that it is hard on him and his gf but they are dealing with it and they will have it addressed in the divorce.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 10:24 AM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • COMPROMISE and meet him somewhere halfway. This is about what is best for the child, not the feelings between parents. It isn't about whose responsibilty it is, but the fact that BOTH parents are responsible for the health, safety and happiness of the child. Learn to compromise and get along, for the sake of the children.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:43 AM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • it's YOUR child's right to see his father! not your ex's right to see his son, you should do whatever you can to make this possible. i do and my ex live an hour and a half away. we do every-other weekend. it's tough but we manage, you can handle a half-hour drive for your kid's sake.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 11:58 AM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • All things being equal -- personally I believe it should be 50/50. Its for the child not the dad, you're supposed to be your kids needs above your resentment.
    Generally its addressed in the court papers and there are circumstances where the above would not be valid esp. when its just a 30 min ride -- YOU SHOULD SPLIT IT.
    EACH PERSON DOES THE PICK-UP.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 2:42 PM on Dec. 13, 2009

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