Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My daughter hates me...

My girl is 14 and HATES ME!! She doesn't want to spend ANY time with me, talk to me, or even look at me!! She acts like I'm invisible. No thing has happened, she just started acting like that.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on Dec. 13, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (20)
  • thats called being a teenager :( i think most kids go through that.. she will outgrow it

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 5:38 PM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • I have a grown step-daughter, and although she didn't hate us, she went through the phase of not calling and want to talk, she is 20 now, and still doesn't, but lives in Virginia. She'll outgrow it.

    Answer by 3rdDay at 5:40 PM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • she doesn't hate you...i went through it with my parents. have you tried doing something she likes? ie, go shopping with her, offer to take her to see a movie she really wants (even if you despise it), if she likes to read, try reading one of her favorite books so you can discuss it with her....or listen to one of her cds (even if you can't stand it) and ask her questions about her favorite band/songs.....i know i used to feel like my parents didn't understand me at all and maybe she just needs you to relate to her on a level other than a mom....good luck :-)

    Answer by CTC7122006 at 5:43 PM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • Sounds like you have a perfectly normal teenager who is trying to assert her independence, but will probably grow out of it someday.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:45 PM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • She's at the age where it's death to be seen in public with your parents... I swear, I woke up on my 15th birthday and somehow decided that my parents were the most stupid, un-cool people to ever exist, and I knew WAY more about EVERYTHING than they did. It's a phase, and a crappy one, but she'll come around eventually. Hang on tight though, sounds like you've got a rebeliious one there, which means she's going to do everything you tell her NOT to do...

    Easier said than done, I'm sure, but try not to take it personally. Have you tried just sitting her down, calmly, to ask her why she's avoiding you? If she really has to think about it, she might realize how hurtful her behaivor is.

    Answer by Koukla12905 at 5:50 PM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • This is the time where you act like you don't notice that she is acting differently. You invite her to go places with you and you go to all of her activities. She may have a friend who is feeding her a line about how her parents don't want to let her grow up, want to keep her a baby, etc., but you have to remember that she is 14 and still a child. Don't let her attitude drive you away from keeping a very close eye on her and all her friends. Tell her she can invite them to your house, but don't be too loose in letting her go to theirs. If she has changed very suddenly, that's all the more reason to suspect someone is telling her stuff that isn't the truth. So keep your antennae up and stay the course. You are still the mom and she is still the child who thinks she is all grown up, but she isn't and won't be for a very long time. Now is the time to be more watchful than ever before.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:26 PM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • It's just a phase Mama. Both of mine went through it and we survived. Just keep being active in her life and treat her the same way. She will come out of it soon enough but don't let her out of your radar.

    Answer by pnwmom at 6:37 PM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • Yep, I can relate, my daughter is 13 and has gone from the cuddly little sweetie pie to the Exorcist wanna be!!!!
    I just tell her I love her, and take the few moments when's she's sweet and treasure those.

    Answer by mrsvixen at 6:48 PM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • Welcome momma to the parents of teens club. Where puberty does all kinds of strange things to our children. I say that the aliens come and take my child and bring me this evil "thing"! Fortunately my boy is 16 now and things are getting better. And yes when he was 14 I thought he hated me. She is just going thru the teen years. Stay strong this to shall pass.

    Answer by dillonsma at 8:57 PM on Dec. 13, 2009

  • Welcome to puberty!!! That doesn't mean she can be disrespectful to you though.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:56 PM on Dec. 13, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.