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I need help with my 3 year old dd...any advice?

Ok so my dd is 3 years old and i don't feel like i have been a very good mom. She does not listen to me at all. I tell her no and she freaks out. She has the worst attitude problem i have ever seen. Everyone tells me she is a brat and that i need to do something. I know that this is my fault. I wasn't consistant with her punishments. and i do the easy thing because i don't want to hear her throw a fit. So i know that i need to change this behavior. If anyone can tell me how to start this process it would be helpful. I really need to change her behavior so please help me!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:25 AM on Dec. 14, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (18)
  • Oh and i know that in order to change her behavior i have to change my behavior and that is what i am struggling with. so any helpful tips would be apprecaited.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • Well it sounds like you are on the right track... you just have to decide to make today the day that it all changes and stay with it. Consistancy is key so start over fresh and let her know who is in charge... good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • Some 3 yr olds go through that behavior. When my oldest boy was that age, I would take his favorite toy or something he adored and until he realized how serious I was about misbehaving I wouldn't give it back until he understood. It worked for me!

    PinkRose282

    Answer by PinkRose282 at 1:36 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • I feel like if i do this though I am just going to be putting her in time out every five seconds all day long. Is that ok? I mean is it ok if every few minutes i am putting her in time out? I live in an apartment and i am a little worried about the neighbors hearing her cry all day long...and she is VERY stubborn like she will cry NON STOP for HOURS...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • Oh 3 is a tough age! BUT you need to decide what the punishment will be and stick to it. For example when she is doing something wrong like throwing in the house and you tell her to stop it and she dosent you say "If you dont stop it by the time I count to 3 then you will get a time out" Then count to three and put her in timeout or whatever the punishment is. Tell her the consequence and exactly what you want her to do. After a few times of this she will get the hang of it. She is going to throw hell fits though but you have to stay on top of it. With my son I tell him he has to be quiet in timeout and it dosent start until he is quiet. Good luck mama.. And all kids are brats sometimes, I think its kind of mean for people to be telling you that.
    stickyfingers

    Answer by stickyfingers at 1:43 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • If she does something to be put into timeout or whatever for then put her there. It's her own fault if she's there every five seconds and after a few days of knowing that's what's going to happen you'll see a change, but you'll still have far to go. Just don't back down stay consistent and make sure she knows things are going to change; fore warn her that from now on what you say goes and she needs to listen and be nice or she will be ...... whatever punishment you feel is best.
    heartfrommyson

    Answer by heartfrommyson at 1:48 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • I agree with the other women and I would take it a step further. So let's say that she is in time out and she's throwing a fit. I would simply say to her that when she's ready to stop crying and be a good listener then she can come off time out. This way if she is will-full, she will feel like she has some control. Always give two choices; Example: stay in time-out and cry or be a good girl and come out of time-out. OR, green beans or corn, OR watch "Snow White" for five minutes or go to bed now. Always give her two choices so she feels like she has a choice in determining her independence. Message me if you ever want to chat.
    KaceesMom

    Answer by KaceesMom at 1:58 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • Three year olds are hard to deal with, but remember you are the boss. And kids cry your neighbors will or should know that. The thing to remember is that the more consistant you are the better off you will both be. She knows what she can get away with and what she can't. You changing what she can and cannot do is confusing her so you need to tell her look these are the rules and this is what will happen if you do not listen and then follow through. She may be young but she understands. Another thing you could try would be to seek professional help. Go to a few parenting classes to get ideas on how to follow through. You prob dont need parenting classes but if she is becoming this way at three what happens when she is 8 or 9? Break her definent streak now and you will be happier later.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • Are you sure it is a behavior issue? Look into sensory integration dysfunction or oppositional defiance disorder.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • Are you sure it is a behavior issue?

    pretty sure! I feel like a pretty terrible mom but, I always did what was easy for example if she is throwing a fit cuz she wants an apple and she just ate i will say no like 10 times but then about 5 mins into her tantrum i ended up just giving in...so yeah totally my fault
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

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