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help with 5 year old lying

my dd(age 5) cut her hair today, and told me she didn't, but i know she did i found the hair. i made her sit down in time out till she told me the truth. after 45mins she told me that she did, but the kitten made her.
this is not the first lie she has told, and i have told her that if she lies i would put soap in her mouth, but i don"t thank i could really bring my self to doing that
i just need help on what to do.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:56 AM on Dec. 14, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (8)
  • Honestly you put her in time out for to long, I would suggest 1 minute for every year old she is, in her case, 5 minutes. The best thing you can do is explain to her that lying is wrong and that it makes people sad when someone lies to them. Each time she lies to you, tell her that your feelings are hurt that she is doing this. By punishing her, it could make it worse.
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 4:04 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • i would tell "what if ... momy was lying to you? how would you feel?" the best is to have to experience herself as to notice and stay far from doing so. i'd say "mom did an ice cream dessert for you" and as only she runs to the kitchen, i'd had say "sorry, it was a lie." certainly i'd discuss it with her as its not right, her feelings got hurt as yours and others on her actions, etc. later i'd ask if she wanted maybe to help you with makeing home made icecream later on? for her not to feel dissapointed completely. fun to do and eat together too. I bet she'd love doing so. tell her to ask you and turn to you whenever she feels incomfortable w/ something, such as cutting her hair, so as the two of you can have done it secretally etc. girls like having secrets.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • the time out was in the liveing room she just had to sit and watch what we were watching (witch she does not like) insted of being in her playroom, playing and watching her tv. i just wantted her to tell me her self. i told her if she told me the truth she could get up, it just took her that long to tell me.
    i have explained it to her before and i did again two time tonight.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • thank you! anonymous sounds like a good idea i will try it tomorrow, couse i want to talk to her about it more
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • i always tell my son (he's 5 also) If you tell me the truth you wont be in any trouble (and i wont punish him at all if he spits it out) and i tell him..but if you are lying to me you will be in BIG trouble. I also make sure i point out that i already know what happend i just want him to explain why it happend.

    ...NEVER put soap in a childs mouth!!!!!
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:37 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • I give this advice a lot....but I say, don't ask questions if you already know the answers. Just deal with the issue. She had cut her hair, you knew she cut her hair....why ask her IF she cut her hair? Just address the behavior, don't set her up to lie. Why do kids lie? They lie for the same reasons adults like.....to stay out of trouble, to avoid a scene, to avoid hurting or upsetting another person.... If you make too big a deal about "lying" then you are giving it more power and strangely, I think it INCREASES the lying....
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 8:38 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • Around here, punishment is doubled for lying. You get in trouble once for doing it and twice for lying about it. What ever the normal punishment is in your house, she gets it once for cutting her hair (losing toys for X amount of time, for example), and again for lying about it.
    debra_benge

    Answer by debra_benge at 10:04 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • I put soap in my DD's mouth for lying. Although I don't do it as much as I used to because that actually isn't good for them to ingest all the time :) My DD now knows that I do not like when I am lied to. The punishment will be extreme if you lie. Now if she tells me the truth I usually just talk to her about the proper way of doing things and what is right and wrong.
    suzyb1980

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 10:40 AM on Dec. 14, 2009

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