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Does this seem a little unfair to you or am I the one in the wrong?

Just a little info for you ladies. My hubby decided to go through my fb acct and saw a mail written from my ex from like 15 yrs ago and it said something like hey can we talk i have been missing you , you were my first ,blah blah blah.... And my reply back was it's great to hear from you but I am happily married and have 3 kids and don't find it appropriate that I would be talking to one of my exes as I do not feel it would be right for my hubby to do the same so I am glad you are doing well. Good luck. So I think this was pretty innocent but he says I was hiding it from him and that I must want to talk to the guy so that he will be deploying in a few days and I can do whatever I want. Pretty crappy right. Keep in mind I have never once strayed or even thought about it but have forgiven hubby for quite a few "indescretions". Was I in the wrong for not telling him?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on Dec. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • absolutely not. He's insecure and jealous. It's his problem and he needs to fix it.

    Answer by michellelee3708 at 6:02 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • I think you did the right thing.. in fact i wrote the EXACT same thing to an ex of mine who wrote me... but I did tell DH about it right after it happened.. he was like "whatever"

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 6:04 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • you're definitely not doing anything wrong. in fact those 'indiscretions' you've forgiven are the reason he's jealous. it's a proven fact that a cheater is always suspicious of their significant other.

    Answer by flaggot13 at 6:12 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • He sounds guilty to me. Maybe check his FB account.

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 6:12 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • Sounds like you should be the one checking him out. If you forgive him for "a few indescretions" it just gives him premission to keep on doing it.

    Answer by mommorgan at 6:27 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • why keep an email 15 years old.. thats odd

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • I think you were just fine not to tell him. I would have told my hubby, but we talk about everything, so it's normal for us.

    If something similar happens again, I'd mention it, just because this seems to have really upset your husband.

    Answer by tyheamma at 6:31 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • about it but have forgiven hubby for quite a few "indescretions".

    Sounds like he does't trust you because of what he has done. It is called deflection. Maybe he feels guilty about somethings and instead of coming clean he has to make you appear to be bad so he doesn't feel as guilty about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • lol-she meant that her relationship with her ex was 15 years ago, not the email!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • no i dont think you were in the wrong but it was wrong of him to go through you stuff i would of let my hubby have it we have a trust not to go in eachothers accounts and snoop around.but i would of told my hubby about my ex contacting me and let him know what i said to my ex. i have learned that military men have a sense if insecurity about leaving their wifes or girl friends.its may have something to do with his passed but since you have made a comment about his indescretions i would say that counciling may be the best thing to solve all of these things

    Answer by lil26bit at 7:12 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

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