Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My inlaws

I have lots of health problems, kidney disease, polycystic ovarian syndrome, etc.. so I don't work and my inlaws don't believe any of it. I've been TTC for over a year now and on different medications and I'm in the process of trying to get a kidney transplant set up. I have to endure all that and then the hassle of my inlaws. Mainly my MIL and FIL. They can't say anything nice about me, I think it might actually harm them if they did. They always say poor Jason (my hubby) he's the only one who works blah blah blah. I'm going to school for nursing and do all the homely duties and am not in any way a bad wife. What do I do about them? I can't handle it anymore, I just want to scream at them. The worst part is that they're malicious and then act as though everything is perfectly fine. Honestly I don't want my children anywhere near them and the hubby doesn't even want to be part of his own family anymore either. What do I do?

Answer Question
 
flaggot13

Asked by flaggot13 at 6:40 PM on Dec. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • nothing,, dont talk to them..you dont need them in your life.. they are your husbands family so if he doesnt want to talk to them that is his choice. being that ill you do not need added stress. just try to be happy in your marriage. live life and dont worry about the little BS
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • First Id have my hubby stand up to his family
    them disrespecting you is indirectly disrespecting him because u r his wife...and as his wife you and your kids are his first priority.

    next, Id just say something, they need to mind their own, ifthey dont have anything good to say about you dont go around them you do it to yourself
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • If he can't defend you or cut them out entirely, you're in for a lot more misery. Have you asked him why he doesn't say anything to them about their unacceptable behavior? Do they say these things in the presence of the both of you? If he doesn't want to be a part of their lives anymore, there is not reaon to be around. them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • Don't talk to them. If they are being rude you don't need it. My mother in law and father in law and sister in law are like that too. When my FIL was alive they would all gang up on him and now hes dead they all gang up on me b/c I ma the outsider. My Sil lives with my MIL and controls her. Hang in there.
    youngmom2004

    Answer by youngmom2004 at 7:11 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • wow im not to sure i know what to say to all of that but i will say that i think your husband should talk to them and even if he has to show him prove of you medical info just so they see for themselves how big of asses they have been maybe then it will make them see how mean they have been if that doesnt work i would say leave them be and concentrate on getting yourself better for yourself and you family. your health and well being is more important then what the inlaws think about you .
    lil26bit

    Answer by lil26bit at 7:17 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • My husband is very passive and would prefer to just ignore everything and hope it goes away. I've asked him to defend me and he is much better than he used to be at it. They typically only say these things to me or behind my back (I was friends with my SIL before I ever got married so she tells me what they say and I tell her what they say about her). I've suggested to my hubby just severing ties altogether but he says he would rather just see them minimally and even my mother says not to burn bridges. I would love to show them my records and tell them off but is that being petty? would it even matter? or should I just sever ties completely. They live 10 minutes away.
    flaggot13

    Answer by flaggot13 at 7:28 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • Keep up your relationships with the family you want in your life. I love my mother to death but we have our issues and care very deeply about most all of my family. Unfortuantly I have serious issues with my sister and stepfather. Also SO hates my mother. So I talk to my mother very little. I accept the help she offers and talk to her when SO isn't around. He knows I do so, he just prefers to be no where near having contact with her. I don't talk to my sister anymore. I have severed all ties with both her and my stepfather. I've even told my mother that I love her very much but the things her husband and my sister have done are unacceptable. They stay out of my life and she doesn't envolve them or I stop talking to her. It's the only way I've found to keep from killing some of my family... figuratively speaking. So I suggest just talk to the family you want around and screw the rest of them.
    jrsjrb

    Answer by jrsjrb at 9:15 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.