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Greedy 8 year old

My 8 year old son is unbelievably greedy. He seems to feel entitled to everything on the planet. This is something my husband and I have always tried to avoid, focusing on family and non-material things, from the time he and his little sister (6 years old) were born. It doesn't seem to have sunk in with him. He pitches a fit every time I go grocery shopping because I didn't bring him a toy. I can't remember the last time I bought him something "just because". We play a lot of games as a family, and spend a lot of time together, with one-on-one time with each kid. DD is fine with it all, but he wants, wants, wants.
He gives me a list of things he wants literally daily.
My only thought is, could it be tied to his ADHD, ODD, and OCD?
Any ideas to help get him past this??

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debra_benge

Asked by debra_benge at 10:23 PM on Dec. 14, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 5 (91 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • he's a selfish 8 year old thats all. unfortunately this is very normal and he sees kids at school getting everything they want so why shouldn't he. You could just leave it all alone and dont pay any attention to his rants or maybe you could take those lists, hang them on the fridge and tell him that every time he does a major chore with out being asked he may pick one thing off that list for each month. either way it will work itself out.
    quarine

    Answer by quarine at 10:31 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • No it is not tied to ADD, ADHD, or OCD. Definately not.
    There are people who are naturaly greedy. It's just simply that your son doesn't see a reason why he can't, so he feels that he should have what he wants.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:35 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • Start giving him an allowance for chores he has to do. If he doesn't do the chores, he doesn't get the money.

    Laundry
    setting the table
    helping with dishes
    emptying garbages
    helping to wash/clean out cars
    etc

    Assign $ per day or per task (we choose per day.) Then, he CAN have ALL those things he asks for - as long he earns the money and pays for it himself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • i dont know what kind of neighborhood you live in, but I live in a wealthy neighborhood, but i grew up in the ghetto. The kids around here are just like that, except that they get what they want most of the time, those kids are bad. My dd, thought that that is how she was supposed to be, so she started asking for everything under the sun, so I took her back to our old neighborhood. She saw poor people, crack heads on the corner, and homeless people that literally had nothing. She asked, why are those kids taking the bus, where are their cars? I had to explain to her, that not everyone can afford to buy a new bmw for their childs 17th birthday. Since then, she still asks for stuff, but nowhere near what she used to ask for and when she doesnt get it, she's ok with it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • I would NEVER pay my kid to do chores around the house, that is his house as well and we all pitch in to take care of it. What happens if things take a turn for the worse and you can no longer afford to pay your child for chores, he's going to go nuts again. I like the idea that anon :57 had. take him to a crappy neighborhood and show him that he's lucky that he has the things that he has, or have him watch one of those specials on poor children in different countries.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • Maybe it is tied to his disorders.. he hasn't gotten anything in a while yet still demands...
    Seven07

    Answer by Seven07 at 11:09 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • I agree with anon:57. We have a daughter with a terminal case of the "gimmies". I took her to help volunteer at our local food pantry a few times, to let her see what it's like for others that can't afford everything under the sun. We also have chore lists for the kids, and that works well for us, but they don't recieve allowance. My DH and I don't see the point. We were raised to do chores around the house without an allowance and we turned out okay. It taught us the value of working hard and appreciating what you have.
    Robsmommy

    Answer by Robsmommy at 11:13 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • First let me say, I AM NO EXPERT, as my kids are little, honestly I don't even know how I got to this age group of questions, lol, but I remember reading this in my parenting magazine. And hope to implement it with my kiddos when they are older. Instead of saying "you can't have that at all" or "we can't afford that", this article suggested the entire family sit down with a list of their "wants", why they want or need these items and the budget that they have available. Obviously not everyone gets want they want. And the entire family discusses who is getting what this week or month and why? Who needs a new coat? Who got something last week? It helps them be part of the purchasing process and teaches them responsibility and maybe even charity, say if he decides to let mom or sister buy something this week or month? Maybe this will help him, especially as he gets older.

    I don't think it has anything to do with ADHD.
    Marti123

    Answer by Marti123 at 2:25 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

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