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what are your thaughts on sleep training? (ferber, cry it out, )

the doctors office said i should sleep train to get her to eat more formula during the day.she refuses to eat formula during the day and eats 3 times at night. she eats enough..... just odd timing. but i feel absolutly cruel making her cry for 15 minutes let alone as long as it takes to get her to sleep. they are also saying i should not feed her at night. i should wait atleast 5-10minutes to respond so she has a chance to calm herself. i dont ave a problem with doing it how baby wants, i only called the doc to make sure she is eating enough, but they seem to think that is what she needs. she is a co-sleeper too. she is 7 months.

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Asked by cassie_m at 10:33 PM on Dec. 14, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 20 (8,331 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • are you bottle feeding? I would start out by doing a late feeding maybe around 10 or 11 with a little cereal so it would keep her full and if she wakes up crying just give her a little pat until she calms back down or a passy to get her back to sleep...maybe this would keep her until worked for my son and he would sleep until about 5 or 6. It took a couple of nights to get him going but it worked

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:42 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • Giver her a late feeding before bed of cereal or a cereal bottle. I don't think cio is good or effective on young infants. It's a head game--infants aren't crying because they are trying to play games, they actually need something and denying them that need only traumatizes the poor baby. I let my lo's go off their biological clocks and derived a schedule off that. Newborns obviously sleep and eat around the clock, when they get a bit more active though you can manipulate their activity and feedings so they are more tired around your schedule of sleep/wake. Putting them down for the night early (@7pm) was the most useful tip I was given. We started this with my older daughter at 5months when she started in her own crib in her own room and has always worked like a charm (along with a regular routine and schedule).

    Answer by Seven07 at 10:58 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • I think the Ferber method is really great... but it's not as much about CIO as it is about setting a good routine and breaking bad habits that are preventing your child from being a good sleeper. If you fix the problems there is almost no crying. We did it with my son and it only took 3 nights for him to fall asleep on his own and he only cried TOTAL 8 minutes... and it reduced his night time wakings from 4-5 times/night to 1-2.... and after a few wakes he would sleep through the night!
    Letting a child scream in their crib for hours is cruel and people do it because they don't understand HOW CIO is supposed to work.
    Doing it the right way isn't cruel... crying for a few minutes isn't going to harm them or cause mental distress... and he is WAY more happy now that he sleeps well at night... and I am much better mommy to him too because I've had a little sleep!
    We did this method when my son was 11 months

    Answer by AmiJanell at 11:15 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • I assume she eats solids during the day? I always was taught to ALWAYS give a bottle/breast before you offer solids so this didn't happen. I also was taught that it doesn't matter if they nurse a lot at night if they don't eat enough calories during the day.. as long as they get enough calories it's fine.. so I assume it's the same with formula? ? I mean she isn't UP ALL NIGHT is she? If not, she's just waking up to eat formula - right - and going back to sleep? You feed her and don't let her sleep WITH the bottle?.. I see no issue with this, myself. And I don't think a tiny bit of rice cereal in a bottle is going to help. She's not eating formula in the day - she needs to eat it at night. It's not really that important and only waking 3 times at 7 months actually is good for her age. I would not sleep-train like that and I would get a new doctor that had dim views of crying methods.. No Cry Sleep Solution - book!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • Some babies just need the opportunity to sleep on their own, AmiJanell. But other babies just DO NOT operate that way. They are either too distracted during the day to eat enough or they are just wired differently.

    If I let my son cry, he'd cry for hoouuurrsss.

    There is something wrong with a baby crying for even 5 minutes and giving up. Might just be that baby gives up easier and loses faith in adults easier than some. I think it is wrong to take away comfort from a baby. They are just too young to understand why or what you're doing. You wouldn't deny a puppy a potty outing or a midnight snack if it were starving, so why people deny human babies these things is confusing to me.

    I agree with you OP, I couldn't do that either. Not for 2 minutes. Just feed your baby. She'll eventually get it sorted out or you'll have to sort it out for her when she's a bit older, but 7 months is too young.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • I think Ferber is cruel. She's only seven months -- what are those doctors smoking? Her sleeping and eating patterns are going to change. Feed her when she wants. After all if we adults want food or drink in the middle of the night we can and do get what we want, while a baby can't do that even if they need it.

    And don't do the cereal in a bottle as someone suggested. Cereal won't make the baby sleep longer, it is empty calories, and should never be put into a bottle.

    Answer by amileegirl at 1:18 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • It's normal for them to eat more at night at this age. They're distracted during the day, but nighttime is perfect for eating... there's nothing else interesting going on! :)

    You have the unfortunate circumstance of having to bottlefeed though, and that complicates what would be a rather simple arrangement... but if you're okay with it, it's perfectly fine.

    Doctors are for sick people, not parenting advice. I advice you to find a new pediatricion who knows his/her place. They should leave the parenting up to you.

    Answer by LeanneC at 2:12 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

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