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Was this wrong?

My son is on a basketball team, and they had a game this evening. Well... right after the game we were leaving and my son told me that another team-mate called told him that he was garbage. This REALLY pissed me off. My son is awesome. Anyway, I have talked to this other little boys mom a few times and they look like decent parents so I pulled her aside and told her that her son and mine must be having problems. I told her what happened and I also told her that if my son told her son something that I would "straighten him out", but that her son should learn to be more respectful of others. I just feel kind of bad because I think that I should have calmed down before I spoke with anyone. I think I scared them half to death. Should I have confronted them, or should I have just spken with the coach? Should I have let my son deal with it on his own? They are 11 years old.

Answer Question
 
peace1234

Asked by peace1234 at 11:37 PM on Dec. 14, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 6 (124 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I don't usually do this, I think that my son just told me at the wrong time, and I didn't control my temper. It really pisses me off because I am there cheering for this kid, trying to show team spirit, and he is telling my son stuff like this... uugh!
    peace1234

    Answer by peace1234 at 11:39 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • Oh yeah, and the little boy admitted that he had was calling my son a name and that my son didn't tell him anything.
    peace1234

    Answer by peace1234 at 11:41 PM on Dec. 14, 2009

  • i have a boy and at 11....yes i would have said something to the mom, if she was the kind of parent who seemed to care. mainly to let her know that her son was acting this way....i would certainly want to know if mine was!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I personally wouldn't have said something to the parents. At that age it is embarassing to have "mommy" fighting your battles and children need to learn to stick up for themselves and not let people bully them. It's just a part of growing up. But that is what I would have done and every parent is different.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I'd say you would be better to teach him to ignore ignorant people rather than letting name calling affect him. The only opinions he should care about are those of the people who love him. Everyone else can go fly a kite.
    sgtdemanda

    Answer by sgtdemanda at 3:40 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Stay out of "playground politics" Your son is old enough to discuss this with his coach. We can't be helipcopter parents: hovering over our kids, or lawnmower parents: mowing down obstacles and denying our kids the opportunity to learn through successes and failures.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:51 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • i agree with a lot of the other moms. i would teach my own child how to behave, you can't control other children and you won't always be there to fight his battles for him. it's best to say that in these types of situation just let it go and don't let those types of things rattle you, especially if you're awesome at what you do. you're a great mom for confronting the child's mom though because i would have, but I'd ask them to let it remain between the parents so the kids don't start gossiping about so-and-so's mom. just ask them to talk to him about it one day as a life lesson rather than "someone came and told me..." ionno, it's worked out before, so maybe it'll help you?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I disagree with the idea of "staying out of playground politics" These are children. No child wants to be labled a tattle-tale. They need adults to stand up for them. He's only 11 for heaven sakes not 17! He is still a little boy. OP maybe you should have waited, but the momma bear came out, I am sure we have all done that from time to time. But you were not wrong in talking to the child's mother. She not the coach is the one to deal with it. Coaches and teachers have enough to deal with.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 1:11 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Teach a boy how to fight his own battles.......... dont do it for him.

    Fighting a boys battles makes for weak men.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Was this little boy just messing with your son. and got a little of control. if that was the case your son should just ignor him. and change the conversation and go over and talk to somebody else. Now if hes picking on him , tell him he should defend himself.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 9:30 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

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