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scared, please dont judge.

Well i am 34 weeks pregnant today and i have been really excited and trying to rush things along till this weekend when i baby sat a 7 month old and he woke up not kidding ever 20 mins. I know that baby's do wake up often threw out the night but now im not as excited and definitely not trying to rush things along any more because im actually really scared. I am scared that im going to be a bad mom and get grouchy all the time because of the lack of sleep im getting. I just need some advice on how to deal with things when the time comes. Im due in January and i am usually on Prozac when im not pregnant but since i been pregnant of course i had to be taken off of that. I have done fine with out with through my pregnancy but i have a feeling im going to be very depressed when the baby comes from my experience this weekend, please don't judge just some advice would be nice on how to deal with the new life ahead of me.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:20 AM on Dec. 15, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (12)
  • Well, first of all, it's entirely different when it's your baby that you're waking up to take care of. Are you planning on breastfeeding? The hormones that are released when you breastfeed help you feel better (although be prepared for the first few weeks to be tough, it's not as natural as you'd think). There are antidepressents that are safe to take while breastfeeding.

    And it's actually pretty unusual for a baby to wake up every 20 minutes, even in the first few months. It sounds like this baby had some issues going on, most likely not having mommy around and someone new instead.

    Answer by lifetimelove at 1:24 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • It is natural to feel this way. After the 1st 5 weeks, everything gets better. Just remember, most children don't wake up that often at that age unless they are teething of something is hurting them such as and ear infection or a growth spurt. Growth spurts will cause the baby some pain. Some babies sleep a lot during those times. Others wake up so frequently that you are going cross-eyed when everyone is going off to work. Try not to worry too much. We moms are here for you whenever you have questions. We try to give sensible advice and hope that it helps.

    Answer by dustbunny at 1:28 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • yes i plan on breast feeding and i hope i have different feelings when the little guy gets here. I will have a lot of help the first few weeks cause my mom is baby crazy but i just want to be the best i can be you know? Like any new mommy would.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Every mother gets frustrated, angry and loses patience with their kids. You aren't having any feelings that other mother's haven't had. Especially when you are sleep deprived. But the first post is right, it's different when it is your child. You will be fine. Just take it day by day and try to have some support around you whether it's a significant other, your mother, sister, friend, etc. That way when the times comes that you just HAVE to get a break, they can help you with that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Thank you all for the advice it is helping and making me feel better about the situation, I'm only 19 so a lot of this is going to be an eye opener to me. I didn't plan this pregnancy but ever since i was little i wanted to be a mommy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • 1st of all, when it's your baby, everything's different. You love your baby in a way that you just won't feel about other babies. So, that'll give you more patience, & tolerance for the tough things. 2- there will be times when you're tired from lack of sleep, & when you do feel like things are getting on your last nerve. Build yourself a good support system. If you have family & your husband to help you get a break every now & then, or get some extra rest, it will help a lot. Make friends that have babies the same age & be there to give each other a break. If you don't already have friends like this, check & see if your area has a M.O.M.'s Club. They are on the internet, & some of my lifelong friendships came from this group when my kids were small. They have play groups for every age (these play groups are as much for the mom's as the kids) some have babysitting co-ops, mom's night out. Relax, you'll be fine, & congrats!

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:31 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I think It is unusual for a 7 month old to be waking up at night every 20 minutes. So, don't think your baby will be waking up that often at that age. Plus, it will be different as well when it is YOUR baby that is waking you up. Your concerns are very normal, but most moms they learn to deal with the lack of sleep. Ask for help if you need it though from or family if possible so that you do not begin to feel overwhelmed. Although many moms worry about whether they will be good parents or not, I think most moms are stronger than they realize. Take a parenting class if you can if you haven't already done so, and that might help boost your confidence.

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:33 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • The reason that baby probably woke up so often was because he was with someone new and not in his usual comfort zone/routine. Also, every baby is different. Your baby may be a cryer who wakes up a lot. Or you could get lucky like me and have a baby who is a great sleeper and barely keeps you up at all. Also, breast feeding and keeping the baby in your room helps a ton. That way you can just grab baby, feed him and get him back to sleep in no time. You dont have to walk to the kitchen make a bottle, etc.

    Answer by ma2b08 at 2:25 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • b4 i got pregnant i was a person who "needed" 9 hrs of sleep per night. also while pregnant my grandma told me that my cousin's child woke up once every night at 5 mos old and i thought that was so horrible. lol. my son woke frequently for months and months. it is so different when it's your child. your whole perspective changes. you are the parent 24 hours per day and you cope with it.

    and definitely not normal to wake every 20 min. i think it was that mommy was away or maybe baby had an ear ache or sore throat. my son did wake every 2-3 hours for months and months though.

    many co-sleep so they can get more rest and that is a good option. i would just google safe co-sleeping. there is a good website by a dr. mckenna at notre dame. he researches co-sleeping. personally cosleeping wasn't for us.

    it's definitely a good idea to have realistic expectations. some first time moms expect babies to STTN really early.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • It wont be so bad, you wouldn't even mind. youll be glad to be there for your baby. and youll feel the wonderful feeling it is to be a mom. you'll see.

    Answer by incarnita at 10:07 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

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