Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Important question!! Help!

im a christian and had a baby at age 18 with someone who is wasnt married to. Having gone thru that i see Gods will for not having sex til marriage. I have a 15 year old sister who i have been talking to about the consequeces of sex now for while and she just asked me where she can get birth control. Im completely against her having sex but on the other hand dont want her to get pregnant and i cant make the choices in her life only try and lead her in the right direction! What do i do!!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:32 AM on Dec. 15, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (14)
  • Personally, I don't think you should enable her. You can offer her support and advice, but letting her know where to get birth control is offering assistance in her lifestyle choice. It's implying support for her to be sexually active. I know others disagree, but that's what I believe.
    lifetimelove

    Answer by lifetimelove at 1:34 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Unfortunately, we don't live in South Korea where women can buy the birth control pills over the counter. If possible, she needs to see an OBGYN. The Dr. will talk to her and help her to determine which birth control method will be best. A good Dr. will really listen to your sister and try to help her.
    dustbunny

    Answer by dustbunny at 1:39 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Help her get birth control AND talk to her about the possible problems that arise from having sex too young. It doesn't mean that you are encouraging or condoning the idea of her having sex right now if you help her with birth control. You said it yourself, you cannot make her choices, but you can try to help guide her in the right direction AND help prevent her from getting pregnant no matter which path she chooses. Educate her about what painful and difficult choices both adoption and abortion usually are for a woman, and help her see that if she has sex it is very possible that she might get pregnant.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:39 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I agree with southernroots, Your sister also needs to realize that pregnancy is only one consequence of premarital sex. The diseases out there are another, and most birth control doesn't protect you. Many of these diseases are much harder to detect in women and can cause permenent damage to her ability to have children in the future. Then there is the fact that she is far better than that. Any boy she thinks she loves will wait for marriage. If he won't wait he isn't worth it. She needs to know that sex does not equal love.  

    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 2:07 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • all that said^, if she has asked you about getting birth control, chances are, she's already had sex, or has come close. she needs to see an obgyn, period. tell her to be totally honest with the doctor..remind her that what happens in the office, stays in the office. once she's sexually active, whether she's on bc or not, her obgyn will be her best source of information about STDs, and her own biological/reproductive system. you may not want her to 'make the same mistake' as you (if that's the case), but in reality, she's gonna do what she's gonna do..and she needs to be armed with protection, to at least be able to avoid unwanted pregnancies, if not anything else. inform her of the proper use of bc (both the pill form, AND PROPHYLACTICS)...i'm just keeping it real, ya'll.
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 3:09 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • i cant make the choices in her life only try and lead her in the right direction!


    You can tell her what is the only way acceptable to God (ie: the right direction) but, like us all, she must choose for herself. In kindly counselling her your own conscience can be clear.
    CosyMama

    Answer by CosyMama at 3:52 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:05 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Make sure she knows she needs to use BOTH the pill (taken correctly, at the same time, every single day) AND condoms, because the pill does not protect from STD's and condoms alone are not reliable at preventing pregnancy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:36 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • You can talk and talk, as you know from your own experience, to your sister, but if she's going to have sex she'll do it no matter what you say. I would help her get birth control....a child isn't something so easy to get over!
    robyann

    Answer by robyann at 8:26 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Well, before you did anything I would have a talk with your parents. Your mother needs to be the one to take her to get birthcontrol. I have mixed emotions about this one. Like PP's said, you don't want to enable her, but at the same time you want to teach her about proper birthcontrol methods because like someone else said, chances are she's already having sex. What does your Pastor say?
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 11:03 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN