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what should i tell my niece? she just had a miscarriage...

my niece who is 20 has been staying with me with her 4 yr old son. well she went and stayed with her x-boyfriend for the weekend and she got up yesterday and was bleeding really bad. she went to the er and they told her she lost the baby. she has lost it. she just lost her mother on oct. 28. she swears god hates her. she is suppose to go see the doctor today because the sack hasn't passed, but she says oh well maybe it will kill her. i have told her she needs to think about her other children, and her mom wouldn't want anything to happen to her. what else can i do? please help

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Asked by okc-mom-2 at 8:48 AM on Dec. 15, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (5)
  • The only thing you can do is make sure she goes in for a dnc. And be there to support her. Keep reminding her she has family who need her and love her.

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 9:15 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • try to find a grief counselor for her. she sounds distressed. not everyone can handle all that they are given, some people need real professional help or they will cave in on themselves. as for you personally, give her love, kind words, space, a shoulder, encouragement, time, and a good example.

    Answer by mellypoo at 9:22 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • right now, I think the best you can do is put your arms around her and let her cry. There really is no words of comfort that will help now, but just knowing that she has a shoulder to cry on may help. IF you have to just take her in, then do so, even if its in her pj's. IF you are a christian, and she is just angry, perhaps looking up the song "glory baby" and giving it to her to listen to will help. I still listen to it everyonce in a while and it helps.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 10:09 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • tell her that god would not put he through anything she cannot handle. and to be strong for her other son.. maybe this is gods way to get her closer to him. to lean on him..

    Answer by jenny2150 at 11:02 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • The best thing you can do is tell her that you love her and are so sorry for her loss. Give her a big hug and tell her you are there for her, and then be there for her. I would be firm and tell her that she needs to go back to the doctor and make sure all is ok. She needs to do this for her health and for her family. You may want to suggest she see a therapist to help her recover from the loss of her mother, and now this loss. Grief takes time, especially if you have multiple losses to deal with.

    Answer by MizLee at 12:38 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

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