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how come some moms know how to relax...while I'm trying so hard to be textbook...

Now, I realize no one does what books and docs recommend...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:43 AM on Dec. 15, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • stop trying to be something your not, enjoy your kids they'll grow up too fast & not want anything to do w/ you soon enough (don't mean that rude mean that as a teenage hormone thing)

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:49 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Yes I agree. Trying to mold into textbook woman will cause you stress all by itself! Learn yourself. Learn what works for you as far as releasing stress. For me it's spiritual devotions and working out AT the gym...away from home. :) Some women scrapbook, some cook...just find your release. MAKE time in your schedule for relaxing the same way you would for anything else really important in your life. Read a good book for 15 minutes in the middle of the day and again at night before bed. Basically...start focusing a little bit more on yourself so that focusing on your family isn't so stressful for you. I sure hope that helps.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 10:00 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • because I gave up living up to everyone eles's expections and just do what works. Will the world end if the house is not perfect, or will the kids suffer horrible emotional damage if I let them zone out to the tv for an hour while I catch a nap, or will they hate me forever if today for breakfast they left over pizza?

    Sometimes what we do as parents goes against someones rules, but it works for us. Just do what works for you and forget the experts. And the truth is, what one expert says you should do, another is going to say you shouldn't.. so since there is not "textbook" you'll just drive yourself nuts trying to live by something that doesn't exist... and no "expert" has your child. He or she was given to you, not to those experts. (at least thats my personal faith, not trying to push it on you or anything ; )

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 10:04 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I was more talking about baby textbook care, such as level of vitamins, iron intake, protein, milk, sleep, stimulation etc....but for all the rest,. I totally agree with you all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Even w/ all of that do what's best for your kid, the books are guidelines, not every kid develops the same. Get a general idea of what they should be learning, eating, sleeping etc then go by instinct, pay attention to your kids cues they'll let you know if they need something changed. Relax, your kids not gonna grow up any worse off if it sleeps for an hour a day instead of 2. Enjoy your kids!!!!

    Answer by Nyx7 at 10:14 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • There are books that will back just about any kind of parenting. Anyone can write a book. There are no book police.

    Sure there are people that do child centered recommendations like breastfeed for at least two years, follow safe co-sleeping guidelines, wear your baby in a sling, feed their children right, don't spank, don't do time-outs, practice authoritative parenting, ect. I've know lots of them. On CM, mainstream America, and maybe in your world you don't see it.

    Doing what is best for you is not always best for the child. I did the best I could do is an excuse for doing a poor job.

    You can do what's best for your children and be a relaxed parent. What's good for kids is also good for moms if you are doing it right.

    Answer by Gailll at 10:16 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Textbooks are tools, not rules. Use them to HELP you figure things out...but not to dictate every single point of your life.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:21 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I never used the textbooks, I thought they were stupid. I just did what my kids needed.

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:22 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • i have2 books but the only time i use them ifif they are sick. i cosleep which is like a big nono but it works for me. i do table food before they are supposed to be ready but they are my kids and i think i know them better then a book

    Answer by piwife at 10:31 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I don't read parenting books. I just wing it. I know my kids better then a book. If I run up on something I can't figure out on my own I google it but only when I need the help. The last parenting book I read was "What to Expect the Toddler Years" with my oldest (never ready the first year one). And I only looked at a few things in it. My oldest is 9 now and I don't even have any parenting books any more.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 12:16 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

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