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how do you deal with the "dad" that isnt around,untill he gets drunk and feels bad about never being there then he wants to talk to "his lil girl" @ 2am,just to make her cry

my "x" hasnt seen my girls in almost a year,he has a new baby with his 22 year old girlfriend(he is 46),all the sudden he calls my mother's house looking for us...said he has ritten letters and called several times but has gotten no answers from either. The only time he writes or calls is when he gets put in jail for something,when he does call,he makes them cry,everytime. How should I deal with that? When he gets drunk,he'll call, so I had the #changed and didnt give it t o him,we even moved and he hasnt the new address..

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Asked by barbicka at 9:49 AM on Dec. 15, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • You don't deal with him, You treat him as if he is a psycho who will do nothing but make your life harder. If he keeps calling, call the cops. If he really wanted to see his DD, he could easily go to court & get visitation. But, instead he chooses to call/contact when he is drunk. Just try to avoid him at al costs, & if you need to file a restraining order then do so.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:52 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Sounds like your handling it just the way I would, no # or address. I'd also tell him something to the effect of "Hey alchy!!! Nobody wants to talk to your drunk ass at 2 am so stop calling!!!" Trying to reason w/ him won't work cuz the alcohol will counteract common sense. Keep protecting your kids from this bad sperm donar!!!!

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:53 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Do what you have to do to protect your daughters, they should not hurt from him.

    Get him to pay child support or let him take you for visitations, I had a similar incident. 8 years ago, he called my mom and said he is taking me to court to see his kids.

    I never heard from him again, go figure, I don't find it unusual. Just don't bash him around your kids, eventually they will figure it out on their own.

    I did save a box for my girls when they get older, they can figure it out. I will never bad mouth him around them at least. :)

    Answer by KFree907 at 9:58 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Just don't let the girls talk to him, also don't pick up the phone let him leave a message.
    The health of your girls come first!!!

    Answer by gammie at 10:09 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • sounds like your doing what you have to do , by changing your number and even moving. He may be their father, but he is unhealthy for them. I 'd say avoid him at all costs!

    Answer by robyann at 10:10 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Just ignore him, if he catches up with you report him for harrassment, history nearly always repeats itself,be very wary of tales of how hes changed, you would need proof hes changed and the way i see that is you would have to give him the chance to do that and the might be consequences arent worth it, you need to think of your children, and they are better off without him, and you too, dont need the stress.

    Answer by niceandspice at 10:14 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I wouldn't deal with it.  I would ignore every attempt he makes.  If he has a problem then tell him to take you court. 


    Answer by dawnjohnson5 at 1:59 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Can I ask how old are your kids? First I would never let him talk to the children at late hours like 2AM. Also, I think your right on with not letting him talk to the kids when he has been drinking to much. You say he always makes them cry, is this because he is being mean or rude or is it because the children get emotional when they hear from their father because they miss him or something along those lines?  The reason I ask is when I was younger I would cry every time my Daddy called because years would go by between phone calls and I really wanted to know my father. So our conversations would always be very emotional.


    Answer by em-jae at 4:16 AM on Dec. 19, 2009

  • Why on earth would you wake her up at 2 .m. for anyone? Do what needs doing, he is obviously toxic and she is better off without that crap in her life.

    Answer by salexander at 11:45 AM on Dec. 21, 2009

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