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Stepdaughter that steals

Dh and I have been married close to a year now. There is a large age gap between us, I am 28 and he's 48, he has 2 daughters that live with us, they are 15 and 17. We get along well except the 15 year old is always stealing my things, perfume, jewerly, purses etc . I know because I have caught her several times, I have offered to let her borrow my things, but then she gets an attitude and calls me names and yells at me. I am in no way trying to be a parent to her for obvious reasons, just more like a big sister, bur this constant stealing and yelling at me is getting tiring. I am wondering if I am over reacting to it all, should I just ignore it? Talking to her doesn't work either for me, should I tell dh and have him handle it? I also don't want to come off as a snitch either, but I am constantly getting my things taken!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Dec. 15, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • Yikers - Yowzers - Ahhhhh
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • She's testing you. she's fighting for the alpha female spot in the house. Make your stand now. Tell her that you'd be more than happy to let her borrow your things if she asks ahead of time. If you catch her stealing then enforce some consequences, you can't just be their friend. Take her cell phone, that'll get her attention. If you have things you really care about & don't want her using lock em up. Tell your hubby what's going on, its not snitching, its keeping him informed of what's occuring in the house & w/ his kids. If my dd was stealing I'd wanna know bout it. Make your stand or she'll walk all over you & you'll never have peace.
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 10:50 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Lock your bedroom door, keep all valuables in there. Put up cameras if you have to, it is hard to deny something that is caught on video. I know it sounds extreme, but do you want to keep on getting robbed?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • are u geting ur things back?? cuz i take my moms things all the time and she takes mine.. but we dont consider it stealing cuz the stuff still comes back home...its like we share.. but i dont know what to tell you.. but your not her mom so maybe she should be askn you first
    jenny2150

    Answer by jenny2150 at 10:52 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Yes, she is testing you.

    I would go in her room & steal something of hers. Every time she steals something of yours, go steal something of hers. Maybe let your DH know about it, so that in case she snitches he can say something smart like "It bothers you when someone takes your stuff doesn't it"

    Be smart with her & show her how it feels when someone takes somthing that doesn't belong to them.

    This could also be something that she does often w/ her mom, & maybe her mom does not care when she takes her stuff. So, maybe in a way she IS testing you. In her mind, she might be trying to compare you with her mother.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:54 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Op here: no I never get any o f the things back, her sister told me most of it is in her locker at school and she gave a friend of hers a perfume she took from me. She took my purse with my money in it last week and saud I deserved to have it taken because I was dumb and left it in thekitchen where she could take it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Yeah let your husband know about it. His daughter needs to be put in her place.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 1:26 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • "She took my purse with my money in it last week and saud I deserved to have it taken because I was dumb and left it in thekitchen where she could take it "


    And your DH is ok with this? Or you haven't told him? Either way that's messed up! Tell him now and make him handle this; that is not appropriate behavior by any stretch of the word!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • u should of already told him and u cant be a snitch if ur tellin ur dh and she need to be punish if she keeps stealling from u and yelling at u u need to stop trying to big like a big sister cuz they wont see u as a big sister cuz ur married to there dad and thats just gross if u were there big sis lol and try and be like a step-mom / friend but if she does something tell ur dh if ur not willing to punish her i would of already did it but thats me
    myangelelena

    Answer by myangelelena at 2:03 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • You AREN'T their big sister and you ARE older than them. You have to step up to a position of authority, even if is only a minimal age difference.

    "borrowing" a few things here and there may be acceptable, but taking and not asking and not returning, and then taking your PURSE is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over the line.

    Get Daddy involved in this crap. This is totally unacceptable behavior!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

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