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Will I always be like this? I need some advice.

I want to be happy but I can't seem to let my guard down... seems like my wall is always gonna get in the way. I meet someone new that seems to like me and I find ways to reject them... reason why we can't ever be together and tell them. I guess I just don't know how to go with the flow and let things happen on there own. Finally when I do put my guard down, all the good men are gone and I get stuck with the one who treats me bad. I don't want to do this to myself ever again. I wanna be open for possibilities and not scared all the time that I am gonna get hurt, then end up with a jerk when I am finally ready to try again. Any advice would help. Thanks in advance.

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ProudMom_5703

Asked by ProudMom_5703 at 11:04 AM on Dec. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (-7 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Go to therapy, there must be a reason you like to get treated badly or don't like the good guys. Get some self esteem, you deserve a good man.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • next time you find someone dont let them go.. maybe those other guys werent for you. even the ones you thught were good. but go for the guy who can wait for you to put that guard down. not one whos rushing you.
    jenny2150

    Answer by jenny2150 at 11:07 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • You really need to fix yourself meaning becoming a whole, complete, filled-up, happy person on the inside and you will attract the right kind of mind. Until you do so, you will attract the wrong kind of guys. I'd be happy to give you some free life coaching if your interested. PM me.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 11:09 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • You don't have to be in a relationship or have a man. Forget men at least for awhile. Concentrate on being a mother.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:12 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I do attract good guys but my guard always seems be up when talking to them... I guess I just feel like it would never happen because they are too good for me so I run away... the guys I end up with all have issues. This is sad, I feel like a loser... I should have posted anon.
    ProudMom_5703

    Answer by ProudMom_5703 at 11:17 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • You have to allow yourself to be vulnerable sometimes.

    Maybe in your subconscious you think you cannot keep the wonderful man, so you somehow allow yourself to settle for the lesser man. A LOT of women do this. A lot of woman have dis-trust for nice guys, because they are not used to it. Maybe they had a mean father figure or something, so that seems to be the norm for them.

    I would try to make friends for now. Don't get involved too quickly, just make some male friends with no sexual bonds to try & make a lasting friendship. This will help you gain trust for the good guys & it will leave you without the sexual attachment which can sometimes ruin what would have been a good relationship. Friends first, sex later. Best way to build a lasting relationship.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:18 AM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I really appreciate your responses. Thank you so much for taking the time to give me some useful advice.
    ProudMom_5703

    Answer by ProudMom_5703 at 3:40 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

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