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what to do with my preschooler that dosent want to go to preschool?

my 4 year old does not want to school not only uncontrolably crying and pull me not to school. I dont think there is a problem in school. I am an at home child care
provider , I dont know if this is a separation problem or somthing else. It just breaks my heart to leave her there upset.what shall I do? should I take her out , put her in counceling separation problems?

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Asked by beadmom728 at 12:46 PM on Dec. 15, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (7)
  • This behavior is normal and wont develop into a problem that requires counseling unless you encourage it. Your child needs to know that the tantrums they are throwing wont change what happens. He cant just sit at home all day when he is in kidnergarten or middle school. You have to teach him now that school isnt something you can get out of.
    The more you respond to the hysterics the more you will see them. Eventually he will get used to this new routine. Make sure he knows he can have friends over from school or get rewards for good grades/ teacher reports. Many kids hate school but the ones that fail are the ones whose parents let them skip whenever they want.

    Answer by amber710 at 12:54 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I am a stay at home mom and I had this problem with my daughter every day for two solid months. She would scream, run away, and cry....I mean she was out of control. The teacher was very good about it. I would sign her in, give her a hug, say good bye and leave. The teacher would take her into class and she would be fine after about 5 minutes. Hang in there...he will get over it. When she moved onto Kindergarten, we have had no problems at all!

    Answer by khedy at 1:02 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Don't negotiate it. Take her tell her you are talking to teachers about what's wrong. Encourage her to talk to you. Probably at four years old she's realizing that other kids, babies etc. stay at her home with her mommy so why can't she.


    Answer by lfl at 1:02 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Separation anxiety is normal and many kids at this age still deal with it. How old is she exactly? I mean yes, she's 4, but when did she turn 4? What has her teacher said? How is she after you've left? When my DD first started preschool @ 3 we would reassure her at drop off. I'd leave her a kiss on each palm and affirm that yes, I'd be back to pick her up the big hand was on the 6 and the little hand was just past the 11. One day I had my dad take her to school. She said good bye to my son and I and happily left with Papa. My dad told her if she could stay in school like a big girl without fussing he'd take her out to lunch when he picked her up. She did great and enjoyed her lunch. :) The next day he took her and said "We can't go to lunch today, but I know you're such a big girl you'll be ok just because it's the right thing to do. Mommy is going to pick you up today." And that was it. (cont')

    Answer by ldmrmom at 2:21 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • There were still a few kids in her pre-K 4 class last year that had issues separating. Of those, most were ok by the end of January. The few that weren't, the teacher recommended they wait to start K one more year. I'm friends with that particular teacher and I know she has a few of those children in her class again this year. WHen we visit her the difference we see in those children from last year to this year is remarkable. There was nothing wrong with them - they just needed a little more time to mature.

    There are a couple of kids in my daughter's K class this year that have some issues. They both seem to be ok on a reg. day but if the parents are in the room for something, these two girls are a wreck. They won't do anything without their parents. The one spends her entire time hiding behind her mom. As they get farther into the year, however, they seem to be improving. It's just an adjustment.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 2:25 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • well ask how long she freaks out for... seperation anxiety is so normal and nothing to worry about unless it somethign that she doesnt get over all day... if you dont make her deal with being away from you during preK she will face the same issues in K and that could lead to her being called a baby, etc... kids are mean. i would just let her work it out as long as you know the school is handling it kindly..

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:38 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • have you tried talking to her teachers to find out how long after you leave she cries for? When I first started my daughter at daycare, she would only cry for a few min and by the time i picked her up, she was so happy you'd never even know she was fact the first time she didn't cry and said ok by mommy, i cried! as for preschool, well she loves it so i don't have any problems

    Answer by CTC7122006 at 5:43 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

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