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My daughters boyfriend has a baby.

I don't want to be judgmental but I kinda am. I mean clearly he is sexually active. This makes me very nervous to allow him around my Daughter. They are both 15. she is not sexually active yet. I would like for her to stay that way! At least for now. We havea very open relationship and she tells me I can trust her. It's not really her I am worried about! I mean he is 15 and has a 4 month old!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Dec. 15, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • you cant make assumptions he could have done it one time and not he has consquences to deal withh, if you trust your daughter then let her with because all she has to do is say no and nothing will happpen and just because he has a baby doesnt make it more likley for them to have sex
    Texan1993

    Answer by Texan1993 at 4:49 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • damn thats crazy. i feel for you because i can only imagaine how one day im going to want to keep my daughter locked away from all the scumbags a virgin until shes mature enough to make the right decisions, lol. you have to do what you think is best, but i think that if you tell her she cant be with him, your risking her getting mad at you, not trusting you, rebelling and sneaking around with him anyway so my advice would be to tell her your opinion on him and on her becoming sexually active and be very honest about it, and get her some birth control.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 3:28 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Maybe he is regretful over becoming sexually active and wants to be with a girl he knows won't pressure HIM. He may honestly have no interest in being sexually active again, I mean he does have a 4 month old! He knows the consequences better than most. I would sit down with them both and have an open conversation about it and your concerns.
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 3:28 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • How does a fifteen year old parent (presumably in school) have time to date?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 3:31 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • umm i feel for him but i would support her decision maybe she will provide more love for the child .... you wont keep her from doing what she wants either way
    tiffandgene2009

    Answer by tiffandgene2009 at 3:33 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • OOOOO yes, rkoloms! Good question. OP, you poor momma! I used to work w/ an adolescent parenting program and we would take the girls to middle and high schools to give testimony on how difficult being a teen mom is. Maybe there is a group in your area and you & DD can visit w/ the girls so she can see that sex has REAL consequences. Good luck!
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 3:36 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I agree with Windy. At 15, his baby should be the wake up call he needed. If I were you I would talk to your daughter and see why she likes him so much and ask her to be sure to come to you if she ever thinks she wants to have sex. At least that way you will know and you will have a chance to be sure she's protected. Let her know that you will not judge her for her decisions, but you would like to know about them. He could be a really good guy. Maybe you can get to know him a bit. =)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • They don't Date per say. Like you said they are 15 of course he will be 16 soon I am told. They are a grade apart. They meet at school in the common areas and I have met him a couple of times. Once when I was chaperoning a double date with her friend and her date and once when he came over after school one day.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I would discourage the relationship. I discourage my 21 yo son from getting involved with women with kids. At 15 it's too much to deal with.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:43 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • OP, get her on birth control now!!!! The only reason I say this is because my DD now 17 is pregnant. I asked, we talked, we had an open relationship, she knew all about sex, STDs, birth control, etc but when it came to sex as her reality or birth control she as a child thought I would freak, so she did not come to me. I asked her many times if she needed it, if they were heading in that direction. She was scared I would break her and him up and she would not be allowed to see him. They have been together for over a year and they did wait until they had sex, and they were safe about it but the condom feel off inside her. Well for the last 2 weeks she has been sick and tired but no positive test yet because they just had sex November 20th. This was there one time. He might have learned his lesson with sex but he is not the one that is caring for the child 24/7 so I would not bet he is not wanting to be active with your DD.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:36 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

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