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will spanking keep working?

For anyone who is 'opposed' to spanking, I challenge you to come work with my child. It is not too often when he acts up, but in order to prevent him from coming "OUT" of 'time out' - spanking and threats are all that work. His bad behaviour today has lead me to write santa: Please Do Not visit my boy this year. And my boy's tears and sobs are ripping my heart to a thousand pieces. Why does this have to be so hard?

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Carrie131

Asked by Carrie131 at 4:20 PM on Dec. 15, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 7 (155 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Some children react better to positive reinforcement. Let his good behavior earn him priveliges, like watching TV or playing a board game with Mom.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:22 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I spanked my older kids but I do not my younger ones as I see that did not really work. I would tell him over and over when he is good, exactly that. Tell him how happy you are. I am not sure of the saying but I think it is "you should praise your child 10 more times than you get onto them". I am not exactly sure but it works with my kids and they know when they do something wrong and I look at them as if I am disappointed then they are less likely to do that again because they know I will not praise them. This works really good at my house.
    JLynn0871

    Answer by JLynn0871 at 4:27 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • yea i second that. I can tell you from experience in my family to where spanking DOES NOT make bad behavior go away. My sister would hit her boys and they just keep getting worse, my brother did the same to his. These children have horrible manners and are not very nice. Now my son, granted hes only 5, I have hit him only once (and that was because he was kicking my stomach) he is well mannered, says please, thank you..etc. now yes it is hard when a child acts up and you have no idea how to stop it. What i do is let my son throw his fit and ask if he's done. I usually just put him in the room and i sit on the floor by the door and tell him hes not leaving until he calms down. that usually takes 5-15 mins depending on his attitude. He is one i also do positive reinforcement to. I ignore the bad and show attention for the good. They are going to keep being bad to get your attention.
    ILovemyson1020

    Answer by ILovemyson1020 at 4:28 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • You are cruel and vindictive and not educated enough to be a parent. Try watching Supernanny if you can't out smart a little kid like that. He is feeding off your negative energy. He will grow up to hit and when he turns into a teen he may even hit YOU bc you showed him it's acceptable behavior. Look in the child's eyes every time you batter him and see how badly you bruise his spirit and at the very least he will plot revenge on you for being so mean to him. You betray him as a parent who is supposed to love and nurture a child. Look those words up if you are confused.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Time outs, spankings and threats (and USING what is supposed to be a lovely tradition to THREATEN your child) - are all counter-productive ways to teach your child.

    Try stoping and LISTENING to your child while he tells you how he feels, and taking him out for a walk when he needs to let off steam.

    In situations like these, you have to remember that you are NOT the child, so stop lashing out at him childishly like this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • You need to learn some parenting skills. Santa shouldn't be coming to see you.

    Psychologists have known for years that punishments like spanking, time outs, and threats do not teach good behavior. In some children punishment may stop bad behavior. What happens in most children is that the behavior gets worse, they get sneakier, when they are punished they resent the parent, they resist punishment, and they learn to hate the parent. Sound like what's going on?

    Punishment is part of authoritarian parenting, the kind that doesn't work. Authoritative parenting is the style of parenting that works. You can google it and read more about it.

    That's theory, you need skills now. The book Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary is very good. She has a website called Star Parenting. Here is a nice parenting chart you can print out for your fridge.

    http://www.starparent.com/about/print.html

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 4:39 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I'm assuming your child is between 3 and 4 years old, because of where you posted this.... And you spank and threaten him and wonder why he's getting worse? You're basically teaching him that acting out and violence is the way to react to something... Spanking doesn't work, it's been proven over and over again that it doesn't. Like the PP's said, try positive reinforcement instead, reward him when he's doing something good, definitely watch Supernanny to see how to use time outs effectively, but most of all, praise, praise, PRAISE!
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 4:48 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Isn't the point of time out to avoid things like spanking? Personally I think the letter to Santa was too much. When you put him in time out, if he gets up, then just put him back. It may take a lot of times but eventually he will stop getting back up until his time is up. After a few times of that he won't get up from time out very often anymore.
    K.D.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • These mamma's are all bitchy. Spanking is not battering and they just want to be rude.

    Use a belt next time. Works wonders at my house.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:56 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • i spank when necessary. most of the times we do time outs or i talk to her. she gest spank after warning, and time outs. it works for my child. for example last time i spank ker was like 2 wks ago. I REALLY DONT CARE IF OTHERS APPROVE OF SPANKING OR NOT
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 5:42 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

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