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Any suggestions. Time outs arent working anymore

I have a four year old son with autism. He is out of control. We have tried time outs, taking away favorite toys..etc... Today we were were at a pool and were asked to leave the pool because he wouldnt stop playing with the door. Its a security risk. He pitched a fit. I have bruises from him kicking and hitting me. I dont know what to do, I feel like I am failing him. Our daughter is 3, she gets the short on of the stck because I am so busy dealing with him. She is starting to immitate him to get attention. I am dont know what to do...HELP

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Asked by LIZH926 at 8:27 PM on Dec. 15, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (4)
  • Autistic children do not respond to typical behavior guidance like children that don't have autism. I would contact your school or a child psychologist who specializes in the disorder to find out what will work. They can evaluate your child and give you the support you need. Be sure to give your three year old the praise she needs when she acts appropriately and talk her through the tough times with the inappropriate behavior. When she gets old enough to understand the difference, you will have laid the ground work needed to help her know what is right and what is wrong. I feel for you and take my hat off to you that continue to work with your autistic child. They are truly special children, can be extremely challenging and you deserve the support you need.Sometimes your school can provide the free services you need. Keep us posted, we're here for you. Feel free to vent!

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 8:35 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Thank you for your reply. We are actually on vacation, I have an email out to his OT therapist, as well as his teacher. The time outs worked for awhile. But now they are not. He is a wonderful, loving, amazing little guy... who is also very challenging at times. With each hurdle we come to I feel like we take 2 steps forward with him and 3 steps back.... he has made remarkable progress in the 2 years since he was diagnosed. And most of the time he is a wonderful, loving, funny, caring, funny four year old that has this awful demon inside him. As soon as we figure out how to deal with it comes up with a different way to challenge us. I spoke with our daughter today after I was able to calm my son down enough to. She said to me "I understand mom, Logan is having a hard day" I said "yes, Logan is having a hard day" she said. "he will have a better day tomorrow." I will keep u posted. Thanks for letting me vent.

    Answer by LIZH926 at 9:28 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • kids w/ autism are gonna need their consequences changed frequently, what worked one day may not work the next. Hang in there!!!!! Sounds like you've got a good teacher & OT to work w/ find things he cares about to distract him when he starts to get out of control. Instead of time outs for pulling on the door try redirecting like "Hey Logan!!!! Its time for lunch!!! What should we have today? or something like that. Pick something he likes, if pb& j's are his fave then great, keep a couple w/ you as a distraction, use toys too not just food.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 8:45 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • i was going to say that i have heard that austistic children do need their behavior plans changed all the time to adapt to how they feel that day... even kids who arent on the spectrum need that at times. some times kids cannot understand why they arent allowed to do simple things (the door) and that leads to them really acting out because they feel that the parent is unfair. you should try to do positive behavior charts with dd to reward her for being good, so she doesnt need to act like him to get attention. she gets her own attention. that is a struggle of any mom who has one child with special needs and other who do not have those needs. very common. hang in there, know there will be good days and bad days and just do the best you can. be creative and open minded when trying new ideas to control his behavior. know nothing works all the time for any kid.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 9:50 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

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