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How to help other siblings prepare for new babies arrival?!

If you follow any of my posts, I had a hard time when I had my last DD this July, my oldest DD whom is 2 did not like her at all and acted out constantly. Now that new DD is almost 6 months old, my oldest LOVES her so much. But, I am expecting another child in June. What can I do to prepare both of them, which my oldest will be a couple months shy of 3 and my youngest a month shy of 1. Any thing I can do while pregnant and in delivery, when new baby arrives to show them that they still mean everything to me and not make them feel jealous? && resent the new baby?! Any advice would be GREAT! Thanks in advance! =]

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Asked by Ari0825 at 10:06 PM on Dec. 15, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (10)
  • I like to include siblings in the preparation. So if it means having them help pick out something while shopping, attending baby party/shower, coming along to prenatal appointments, great! At the appointment, sibs can listen to heart beat & check blood pressure & pulse, palpate mom's belly... it's fun!! ;-D

    Also, reading books for children on this subject can be helpful. (*I have a list, you can request the titles from your library...)
    I showed my 2 year-old lots of (normal) birth videos as well because she would likely attend the birth, too. (Because of that, I did extra preparation, too.)

    Answer by doulala at 10:16 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • let them know thats the baby
    ur oldest should be able to bond if u take him with u to the dr to hear the heart beat, and give him his own pic of the ultrasound. make him feel special like hes a part of the whole deal. theres nothing better than making him FEEL like the BIG brother hes going to be
    :) Hope this helps, let him start helping with baby u have already getting diapers, taking dirty diapers to the garbage, and dirty clothes to the hamper. Mine help out all the time. Makes them feel big.

    Answer by babygirl8302006 at 10:18 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • I don't know if it is just my kids personality or if we are doing something right! I have not had a problem with any of my kids. We just had our 4th and the siblings are 3 years (almost 4), 2 years, and 1 year old. I talk about the new baby all the time. I talk about them being big brothers and sisters and how much they are going to help me, and about what great siblings they are/are going to be. This time, the older boys picked out a sleeper for the new baby. When they came to the hospital to see him, he was wearing the outfit they got him. They all held him that day. I always have them help me - go get a pacifier, diaper, wipes, blanket for the baby, etc. I also try to take time cuddling each one of them, sometime during the day.

    Answer by micheledo at 10:23 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • thanks. I do! The oldest has been coming with me to my appts. SHE will be a BIG sister! lol.
    Umm.. the books seem like a good idea, ill have to try that. & my DD already helps out. Getting diapers. Takes her & sissys diaper to the trash (still working on potty training) She is A GREAT help! She helps feed sissy her bottle, etc I make her feel included all the time. Then. On daddys days off we have me and her time. We go shopping together etc. Then wehn my oldest naps which she naps for 2 hrs. ALL i do is play with the baby. I thought I was doing alright. SPending equal time with each. I like the ultrasound pic too. I have an ultrasound on Monday, and I wanted her to go to see the baby. But with the whole flu ordeal no kids are allowed as its in the hospital =[ which sucks. but i will def give her one of the pics of it. Thanks!

    Answer by Ari0825 at 10:25 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • hey Doulala, can you send me a copy of that book list. I have a 2 year old and am expecting in Jan. and can use all the help I can get.

    Answer by chrissmom734 at 10:45 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • Yes, I will send you both a copy of the list!
    It's with the titles and authors. If you go to your own library website you should be able to reserve whichever ones they have at your local branch. (*They should notify you when it's in, you just go pick it up!)
    (Or go to Powell's online or Amazon or where ever to buy...)


    Answer by doulala at 10:53 PM on Dec. 15, 2009

  • like some others said, include them in everything.

    im expecting my second in july, and dd will be 2 1/2. we started telling her about the baby as soon as we found out. i wanted to take her to the ultrasound but dh didnt. when we got home we showed her how they took a pisture in mommys tummy, and she wants to see it all the time now. she gets to help w names, picking out the double stroler, and the crib (not that she gets a deciding vote, but she likes to participate). im hoping this stuff will help, but only time will tell.

    iv already been telling her how se is going to go to grandmas house when the baby comes, then grandma will bring her to mommy and the baby.

    Answer by erika_wright at 2:07 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • hi i'm also expecting late june/early july and really nervous about this. my son will be 2 3/4 when baby is due.

    i have been telling him there is a baby growing in mommy's belly and he will say he will hug it and hug himself. i also showed him one of my pregnancy books that shows the baby developing and he really liked that. he especially likes the pics that show the baby squished up in the placenta and he will pull his arms in and make a squishy face. when i turn the page and the baby is bigger, he will say "bigger" and pat me on the boob. lol he gets a bit confused...

    i really hope he will do ok. i know it will be a big adjustment for everyone!!!

    Answer by Stefanie83 at 9:20 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • oh he also sometimes says there is a baby growing in his belly too... gets a bit confused like i said ;)

    i'm also taking him to some prenatal appts which isn't really by choice but necessity but maybe that will help

    Answer by Stefanie83 at 9:20 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Make the older siblings a part of the whole thing. From picking out baby needs, baby showers, announcements, even naming the baby. I am working on baby #4. My oldest 3 are all 3 years apart and this one will definately be the "baby" his next older sibling will be 6 years old when he arrives. So, I've asked the children to help with everything. Decorating the nursery, picking out strollers, clothes, you name it. My youngest calls the baby "Our Baby". I made sure they all know a new baby is an extension of our family. He's an added bonus to look forward to. But, I also let them know how much help Mom & Dad will need from them too. My OB also provides a sibling prep class which they will be attending next month.

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 10:37 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

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