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We have a son together, should i move on?

my bf and i have been dating for 6 yrs, they haven't been great. we were 19 and 21 so we werent ready...but here we are 6 yrs later and a 3 yr old son..he and iare in school..were doing better. but now we've lost interest in each other(weve confirmed it) we still love each other..and now were closer to living our dreams like buying a house, traveling,marriage, more kids...but now i feel like i want something different..for one he drinks ALOT and all he does is play video games he is a good father and an o.k bf . but our life is now tainted by our past and how he wont stop drinking and how he is just so irresponsible and immature..

should i move on and see what else life has in store for me or do i stay and live out our dreams with the father of my child and deal with his immaturity and realize nobody is perfect and that all couples lose they're fizz for each so confused, scared and excited.


Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Dec. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Reread what you wrote...that should give you the answer. Good luck to you.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:44 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • You only live once, why be with someone who doesn't make you happy? If you marry him and drag things out it will only get worse. If you buy a home together and end up divorced it will cost you lots of money, grief, and maybe even your home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Take it from someone who is no longer interesting in the man I married... Dont get married if the drinking is there cause it only stops for a little bit...then it comes back sometimes harder... I am in a unhappy marriage and I dont want to leave cause I will lose everything we have worked hard for... If you have a doubt dont move forward till you know for sure.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Thanks guys! i guess i feel insecure b/c im 25, wont be done with nursiing school until about 2011 and not to mention ive gained about 70 pounds so i feel very insecure that if i leave him ill be alone for ever...not that i want a relationship but i think that eventually i do yrs down the afraid to live alone for every reason including not having him to help me around the house and feel secure at just plain and simply scared and insecure and not sure of myself..i just need to feel that i can do this on my own and be okay..

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Damn the wieght, it is what is in your heart and in your brain that matters. Reread what you posted and you will have the answerer. Traveling nurses make boo koos of money. Do that for 2 years and write your own ticket. Sacrifice for a couple years in Alaska and see what you will make!!!

    Answer by SEEKEROFSHELLS at 2:16 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Me and my hubby have been together 6 years and for a while I thought it was over but, we started making sure we spent time together. Can you get him to stop drinking? That would be my only issue. Good luck

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:07 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • if you think you will be happier leaving him and finding happiness for your child and yourself, go ahead. There are lots of independent single mothers out there. You know the answer to your question. Here, everybody has different oppinion. You are the only person who can decide and take the best decision for yourself and your child. Life is too short. Enjoy the best you can and don't waste time regreting it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • I would move on. Now you decide what's right for you

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:29 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • i moved on...i hated living with an alcoholic..they only care about themselves

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:42 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • I think you need to stay with this and do everything in your power to make it work. You have a three-year old who is counting on you to do that. No doubt, you have made some choices that you regret. We all have, but a big part of life is taking those choices and turning them around so that they become useful to us and to others. The truth is that if you leave this guy and choose another one, you will most likely choose someone else who is very similar. It is very strange how this works but in my 63 years, I have seen it happen over and over. It's something to do with our basic personality and the kind of people we attract. So take whatever good you saw in this man that made you want to have his child, and build on that so that you can give your child a stable home. This is the only dad your boy will ever have, so use your gifts and abilities to make him the best dad he can possibly be. You will find happiness in that.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:58 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

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