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how has a new baby effected your relationship with your significant other?

I am expecting jan 22nd and can't wait for the new addition to our family. But I admit I watched this show that followed new moms and it seemed like their relationships with their significant other completely fell apart and they are always argueing and the moms are completely stressed. Currently we have a good relationship and I'm hoping it stays that way. How has having a new baby effected your love life in either positive or negative way?

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hillma

Asked by hillma at 1:50 AM on Dec. 16, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (6)
  • My marriage grew stronger when our daughter was born. But then, we both really, really wanted to have that little girl join our family. DH is a great father, and we've had to work to make sure we are still giving ourselves to our marriage, and not just to our daughter's needs.

    We're expecting another one in May and are looking forward to the new little miracle in our family together.
    tyheamma

    Answer by tyheamma at 2:11 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • I wont lie, it has been a tough task to keep our relationship going the last two months (since our son was born). But a lot of the stress is also outside of caring for the baby - money, work, living arrangements, etc - then to add a newborn put the frosting on the cake & we fight a lot more often. I find myself resenting him at times because of how hard it gets & how I feel I have so much more on my shoulders than he does. It's workable though, & the older our son gets the easier it gets to work on things between the two of us as well. Don't worry though, worrying about it can only make you more stressed out about it...thus causing the problems you're worried will arise. Make sure you're both on the same wavelength before your LO makes his or her appereance so that there are no surprises that could strain the relationship (preferred feeding type, parenting methods, medical decisions like circumcision & vaccines, etc).
    WannabeMommy87

    Answer by WannabeMommy87 at 4:18 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • my son is about to be 2 months and i'm not going to lie we fought from the first day we brang him home. it was very hard i even moved out for a while because we fought so much for the last two days we have not fought (we fought every SINGLE day since he was born) so hopefully it stays like that
    maris1192

    Answer by maris1192 at 10:22 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Try to savor some mommy daddy time when you can. My DH and I were so overjoyed and focused on our baby that we did loose sight of each other for a while. We never argued or anything. I just realized one day when a snuggled up to him on the couch that we had not had any affectionate contact in months. He even said " hi, I missed you". So just remember in the whirlwind of becoming a mother your still a wife. Get a sitter and go out.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Ours is pretty much the same except we don't have sex very often. Maybe once a week, if that. Mostly because it hurts me and I just don't feel like it that much. I am breastfeeding and I've read that can cause you to lose your libido, so that is probably why I don't want to. He's a pretty understanding guy, so the decrease in sex hasn't caused any fights. My husband isn't very hands on when it comes to the baby - he's just not into babies, he cares, don't get me wrong, but he's more into them once they are more interactive and their personalities really start coming out. For the first month or two he didn't help out too much with her, but he would do anything I asked as far as around the house goes. So that was nice that a few nights he would make dinner when I was really tired or busy with the baby. We had family here helping out for a good while and that helped, too. Now that she is a couple months older CONT
    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 11:27 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • he is doing more with her. A lot of times I will just hand her over to him and do what I need to do. If I wait around for him to offer then I know I will get mad. He does offer to do things with her every now and then but not very often. He's also really supportive of breastfeeding and that helps A LOT. So far, he's let me do most of the decision making (breastfeeding, cloth diapering, not letting her CIO) but he did say we were not co-sleeping. So she sleeps in her crib at the foot of our bed. Sometimes on the weekend mornings I bring her into our bed and he's fine with that. A lot of times when I read questions on here about a certain child rearing thing then we will talk about how we would hypothetically deal with that.
    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 11:34 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

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