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My step son does not bath

My step son is 23 years old and he does not bath.
He does not live with us, however I want him to bath when he is visiting us. What do I do?
I also like to help him to be more acceptable in society by keep a good hygiene.
His dad is a very clean person however mother was the same, did not bath and let herself go... Every time dad mentioned bathing, mom said live him alone!
He is very smart and I don't understand why he chooses to be dirty. My kids never went to bed without bathing... It was natural.
Help is appreciated...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on Dec. 16, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (8)
  • LoL my SOs brother doesnt shower much. His mom has to remind him to wash his behind...its sad because hes like SO said hes ALWAYS been like that. His sheets end up smellin awful and everything. Sad thing is he met a girl thats the same way, they'll go 4 days wearing the same clothes not washing, when theyre home from school. It makes his Grandma ILL!!!! I find it disgusting myself. Only thing I could tell you is when he gets there hand him a towel and a wash cloth and tell him where the shower is, and keep it up daily. Hand him a fresh towel, every morning, he should get the hint. Have his dad remind him as well, bad habbits are hard to break!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • I agree with previous poster...hand him a towel every morning! And when he says "No, I'm not taking a shower today" Say "um, yes you are"! He staying at your house, your rules. And you don't want his stanking butt sleeping on your good sheets!

    Answer by mamaada at 10:40 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Talk to him openly & honestly about it, he is 23 frikin yrs old, you should be able to talk instead of manipulate. Tell him that you would appreciate it if he would shower every day while he is staying in your home. Talk to him about the germs & how you don't want them in your house. As far as the way society sees him...well you can't control that. Ask him about it, is he aware of how others see him? He may be clueless in which case he'll appreciate you talking to him or he doesn't care & will tell you so. Either way you'll have some resolution. Recognize that @ 23 he's past the point of you being able to teach him what you want him to do. Love him for the dirty boy he is

    Answer by Nyx7 at 10:41 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Give him some fancy soaps and a bath towel for xmas. That's about as subtle as a person can get

    Answer by auntj at 10:42 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • I hear that we Americans are way too clean for our own good. We bathe so much that we strip our bodies of natural oils. Some people choose to allow their natural oils to flourish. Maybe he puts more stock in important things (to him). You may not like his choice but it seems imperative to the family to respect it. If it bothers you then only invite him over when you are grilling outside. Work around it but have you ever thought that he finds your smell of perfumed body wash offensive? We bog ourselves down with deodorant smells, body wash, shampoo & conditioner, lotions, etc. It can be offensive to the olfactory senses of others. For a while I worked at the local library as a volunteer and many times the bathed patrons came in stinking worse than the homeless. Concentrate on the positive characteristics of this young man. It will make you a better person.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • My brother went through a phase like that until he got with his now wife. He dresses and well and always smells fresh. My hubby will wear dirty clothes if I don't wash them. He'll go like 3 days without showering and then shower cuz he wants me to like he way he smells. He also has a friend that is a bachelor that smells bad everytime he comes over like he hasn't washed his clothes in a month. I would say if he finds a girlfriend he would change it, but it sounds like there are a lot of women who are the same. He's an adult and you can't make him shower and be clean. We tried to tell my brother we would wash his clothes for him and stuff, but he refused. There is really nohing you can do, but have a frank discussion with him.

    Answer by lowencope at 10:43 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • I agree with the person that said we are too clean. People shouldn't shower every day. Once a week may even be good. Showering can cause dry skin and is unnecessary. It is a huge waste of clean water, a valuable resource.

    Just because you are hung up on being over clean and harming your body, wasting water, wasting energy to heat the water doesn't mean he has to. Leave him alone.

    It is unnatural to have to shower before you can go to bed.

    Answer by Gailll at 10:52 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Go with the towel and the most plain jane soap you can find. I think dial makes a Free or white, perfume may bother him. I don't like smelling like a drug store, but it doesn't stop me from being clean. My deoderant is unscented and I use Cheer Free on my laundry.

    BTW my husband constantly tells my 10 yr old to go take a bath before his penis rots off. It is blunt and to the point. Nobody want their penis to rot off. Other blunt and to the point comments might include. "Don't you itch" "You smell like a homeless person." Probably best that is comes from his dad. Dads can say things that moms can't and step-moms would be hated for.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

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