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well i have been together for almost 3 yrs and hes still not ready to get married! i love him very much i hope he dont make me wait forever!! what should i do?

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nancy155777

Asked by nancy155777 at 11:11 AM on Dec. 16, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (15)
  • I would flat out tell him that you do not want to wait forever and you will not. Tell to either shit or get of the pot! If a guy says he is going to marry you then he should marry you. None of this waiting crap.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 11:13 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Maybe he's scarred...men are different then women. The feel like their whole world is going to stop and I had a few freinds that the thought of being with one women for the rest of their life scarred them. So just talk to him about.
    MEN ARE LIKE BABIES, THE DON'T KNOW UNLESS YOU TELL THEM SOMETHING. YOU HAVE TO TEACH MEN AND GUIDE THEM WHERE TO GO.
    Lovin_mybaby5

    Answer by Lovin_mybaby5 at 11:15 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • How old are you and what are his reasonings for not wanting to get married? I'll be quite honest with you, there is nothing that men hate more than a woman begging for a ring...its a sure fire way to NOT get the ring. If you are happy, and apparently you already have children or you wouldn't be on this site, the wedding is something you are ready for but he is not, who is to say who is right? Are you all set financially? Do you have kids with him or do they have a different dad? Do you live together? Own a home? How old is he?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • What does it matter if you are married?

    If you are on CM there must be children involved. If you have children and you want to get married so you can all live together that would be important. If you are already living together then it's not. If you have had children and not been married then it's not important. If you want to have a child then it is important. If you just want to have a big party then it's not important.

    Why doesn't he want to get married?

    You need to think about all these issues. You may decide it really doesn't matter. You may decide it's time to move on.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:18 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • It sounds like the two of your are not on the same page with the direction of this relationship. It is a shame that you didn't know this before you invested four years in it.

    Either you can change what you want, or he can or the two of you move on. There are not any easy answers.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:22 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Marriage doesn't have to be the culmination of a relationship for it to be happy.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 11:33 AM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • I was in your shoes not too long ago, but HE DID propose! eventually.....

    First off, does he know that marriage is important to you? I had to let this be known to my SO & it made him think hard about it. He thought he would never be married, but when he proposed i asked him why, becuase i KNEW marriage was not something that interested him. His answer? "I would rather marry you than possibly lose you to someone else who would marry you" Not super romantic, but at least it made him think hard & made him realize that he would rather marry me. Guys are dumb, sometimes you have to paint it on their face.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:32 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • If he doesn't step up than maybe you should separate for a while. Maybe he needs a reminder that you could be easily gone out of his life today or tomorrow. I do not blame you for wanting to get married. I personally never saw myself just being somebody's girlfriend for the rest of my life. There comes a point in life where i believe you should transition into a more stable, lifetime commitment(marriage) and if he doesn't give you that, than you have the RIGHT to move on and find it else where. Whatever makes you happy. Good luck.
    2princesnaKing

    Answer by 2princesnaKing at 12:35 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Three years is long enough to know if marriage is in your future. Let him know that it is important to you. If he still says he is not ready, then you need to know what you want to do with that information. It might require a separation from him. A friend of mine lived with a guy for 5 years. She finally told him that she wanted to be married and he said he wasn't ready. She said very nicely, well then we need to break up because I don't want to just live together the rest of my life. So he moved out. But 6 weeks later, he was begging her to get back together and he proposed. they've been happily married for over 7 years now and have 2 cute kids.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:43 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • You need to decide if you are okay staying with him and never getting married. If you want to get married, you may need to leave him and find someone who wants to marry as well. I know too many cases where a guy told his gf he "wasn't ready to get married" and after they broke up he was married within 6 months. It wasn't that he wasn't ready to get married, he just wasn't ready to marry HER.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 12:55 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

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