Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

When is it ok to start dating again?

After a divorce? When it's filed? When it's finalized? When you feel ready? I just want to hear how others handled dating after divorce.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Dec. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I don't think it is ok until it is final. However, that can be a long time. If you start dating before that I think you should keep it quiet. Don't live together! Anything can and will be used against you in custody battles. It doesn't matter how many whores he has slept with or how many 18 year olds he has gotten pregnant. You have to worry about what you do.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 2:36 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • I briefly dated a good friend of mine about 3-5 weeks (don't remember exactly when) after my divorce was final. We dated for about 4 mos. After that, I didn't date for a while. I think it depends on you and how you feel. If you feel ready, start. If you don't, then don't. Personally, the only restriction I would place is that I would wait until it was final, but that's a personal choice. I felt like dating before my divorce was final was too much like cheating, even if the marriage was in fact ending.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:38 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Personally.... I think until all the paper work is finalized you are still technically married and therefore it is wrong.

    I also feel that it is not in the best ineterst of the child to date right after, and NEVER to bring home a fella to meet the kids until it is to the point that you are thinking of marrying him.

    THINK OF THE CHILDREN FIRST. You will probably be ready WAY before they are ready for you to date.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • I would wait till the divorce is over then give yourself time to adjust and become "you". I don't see any wisdom in jumping into a new relationship till you've had time to do some soul searching of your own, and if there are kids involved, I think its best to wait till the kids have fully adjusted to the divorce and are ready for you to date. I've known alot of woman who jump right into a new realtionship, and very rarely does it turn out good.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 2:55 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • You should wait until the divorce is final. I met the man who is my current dh while I was separated, but we became and remained just friends until the divorce was final.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 3:22 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • the ONLY reason im saying after its finalized is you dont want stuff being used against you in court, however personally i think its ok as long as you are honest with who ever you are dating
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 4:06 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • As an FYI, here's a few more details. We will be filing in April because we live in Florida now and are moving back to Ohio. My current husband knows and we are making plans and beginning to write up paperwork. By the time we file, it will be about 6 months since I asked for a divorce. We're doing all the paperwork outside of court.

    The guy I am thinking about dating (I definitely wouldn't until I at least filed the paperwork, and I would keep it quiet until it was final, and the kids would be introduced only once it got final. The kids are only 3 years old and 7 months old now) is someone I dated for a long time (about two years) before I left him for my stbx.

    Half of me thinks it's like cheating if it's not final the other half thinks since it will be 6 months and if it weren't for the fact that I live so far away from my family we'd be divorced by then, maybe it's a different situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Dec. 17, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN