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Should I call it quits after nearly a decade?

We've got 3 kids, been together 9years, & I've had it up to HERE with him. He acts like I owe him something. He's become a lazy slob, sitting around drinking beer and playing video games all day! Does NOTHING to contribute financially! It's all on me to feed & clothe the household (him included) AND pay ALL the bills! Even the ones in his name! It's kind of my fault b/c when we met he was jobless, but I made a lot of $ so it's not like he had to work. Then after the babies started coming he was a stay @ home dad while I worked. That was fine, but now I'm injured & can't work and all he can give me is one excuse after another and I'm TIRED of begging for his help! I'm not his mother and I can't make him do anything. I've tried putting him out, but the cops never make him leave. He's getting drunk way too often, acting shitty in front of the kids. I still love him, but NOT in love anymore...almost hate him now...What do I do???


Asked by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Dec. 16, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Get counseling. Calling it quits shouldn't be your first solution. Get counseling and communicate with the man. Set some boundaries and stick to them.

    Answer by MomToBeISaMom at 3:53 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • file a 30 day notice of eviction with the courthouse if they cops wont make him leave.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • leave his ass!!! focus on you and your kids and eventually you WILL find someone who treats you and your kids with respect. you know what you need to do...

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 4:50 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • It sounds like there is literally nothing keeping you together at this point. If he doesn't have enough respect for you and the kids than to at least clean up after himself then its time to say bye bye. Sounds like he is using you for a free ride and free booze.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:14 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • If you want to try to save this...not saying you should...he needs AA and counseling. If he refuses., then WALK.

    Me, I'd walk in any event.

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:18 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • I know how you feel. I have a similar story, but don't ask my advice cuz I'm still with him. I told him he had to quit alcohol or I was divorcing so he quit drinking. I also told him he had to get a job and he's had trouble, but seems like he's getting one now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • I think you need to tell him flat out that you are fed up, and things need to change. Let him know that you are sick of his lazyness, him not working, him not helping out...You are not his mom, not the maid and he needs to step up and do his share. Tell him that he has XX days to get his act together or he can get out. If he refuses, or does not start helping out then tell him it is over, you are done and one of you move out.
    Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Dec. 16, 2009