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Asking too much from my boyfriend??

Currently do not have custody of my son.. However I do get resonable visitions with him. However my boyfreind doesn't seem to want to spend time with "us" (my son and I) when I do have him. I can understand that he is not the father. And that time should be for me and my son. My point is that I love my boyfriend and would like for my son to know he is part of my life and would for my son to be ok with that. However my boyfriend feels like I am trying to push him into being a step dad. I need some understanding. I am not pushing my son to call anybody else 'dad'. I just want him to know that his dad and I are no longer together and moved on with our lives.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Dec. 16, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • wow that's a touchy subject. Be prepared!! LOL..Its hard fro everyone to adjust. When you have a separation in your life, you have to remember that it involves everyone els in your life too. Just relax. Go on abut your day when the 3 of you are together , let them warm up to each other naturaly. If its important to you, that you let your child know you've moved on, then focus on him. If your bf is nervous about the "step dad" thing, then it wont help him relax and become friends if he "feels pressured" ( even though you know you not pressuring) If your son feels tension it will be hard from him to warm up to your BF. Your not asking too much, just maybe its too soon, to expect overnight "family". I say this because i've been were you are. Relax.Breath.Enjoy.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:22 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Sounds like this guy doesn't want any sort of kids right now. How old is he?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • How old is your son? How long have you been having visitations? How often do you see your son? How long have you been together with your boyfriend? Perhaps your boyfriend does not want to get involved with your son until he knows your relationship will last. I actually think it is in the best interest of your son to have time just the two of you. He may not know how to deal with the idea of you having a boyfriend or feel like he is loved less. Then again...I don't know your child's age.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:20 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • He doesn't want that commitment. And your son knows you and his dad aren't together..obviously.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 4:21 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • While it's not asking too much of your boyfriend to be around your son, if he doesn't want to he shouldn't be forced. Besides that, why do you want your son around your boyfriend? If he were your husband or fiance it would be understandable but relationships end every day, you know? Why confuse your son? He probably has a better grasp than you think of you and his father not being together since you're not and he lives with his father and visits you. It sounds like your boyfriend is not ready for this and maybe you should let it go. You're talking about two different things anyway, you want your son to understand you and his father aren't together but you want your boyfriend to be part of your son's life. Maybe you don't need to push it with him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • How long have you and this BF of yours been together? If it hasn't been very long then that is understanding on his part and 2nd of all maybe you have the WRONG man in your life if you and him have been together for a year or more then maybe you need to look into moving on. Maybe there's just nothing clicking for him with you having a child, fear is some mens middle name.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • How come you don't have custody? Doesn't the mom usually get custody of a child? Did something traumatic happen?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Sorry if I was dating someone and they had no desire to know my child in any capacity; I'd move on...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

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