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am i a bad mother for not telling my son about santa?

My boyfriend and I have decided not to tell our son about santa. We decided this because it's lying. We don't want our son to think that he did something wrong or was a bad child because he doesn't get everything he wants for christmas if we can't afford it. I remember when i was told santa wasn't real and i was very disappointed. I was sad because my mom had lied about someone bringing presents for us and i didn't look forward to christmas anymore. Since the excitement of santa was gone. Our son will be a little over two months old this christmas so he won't remember and babies don't start remembering stuff until they are three. I just don't want him to feel disappointed or sad like i did when i found out the truth. I know santa is a big deal to most people. So am i a bad mom?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Dec. 16, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Here is what my mother did when I was a child, and personally I think she is a *genius* for it.

    In addition to telling me the history of the real Saint Nicholas, she taught me that "Santa Claus" was really the spirit of giving and selflessness, and that every person who exemplified that spirit was one of "Santa's helpers." Each year she would encourage me to help out somehow, by raising canned goods for the Salvation Army with my girl scout troop, by filling a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child, by purchasing a gift for a needy child from the Christmas tree at the mall, by caroling at a nursing home, etc...

    This way, she never lied to me, but she still allowed me to believe in Santa Claus and get excited about the spirit of Christmas.

    Answer by lalimalina at 6:46 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • This is question has been asked and answered too many times to count.

    Answer by wildboyz1994 at 5:44 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • u can wait till about 3 but I wouldnt take something from them that can give them so much excitement. My mom never told me about him i learned and kind of figured it out>

    Answer by babygirl8302006 at 5:46 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Your son will find out about Santa, whether you tell him or not... I mean, he's too young now, but once he's a little older, he'll be buried with images of Santa in school, stores, on tv, you name it. So you can't just NOT tell him anything. Personally, I think there's nothing wrong with a kid believing in Santa, and having a little magic in his life. I really don't think anybody has ever been permanently scarred from finding out their parents "lied" to them about Santa. Besides, Santa is based on St. Nicholas, who DID exist, and who DID give out presents to little kids on his birthday...

    Answer by Anouck at 5:49 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • My parents never told me, but I certainly didn't feel like they had "lied" to me, or done something bad to me when I found out. It's a world wide tradition meant for kids joy, and most kids love that their parents do this for them. Many kids pretend they don't know about Santa long after they do just because they enjoy the whole spirit of it. Every parent has to make their own decision, but I always feel bad for the kids that don't have that little bit of magic in their lives.

    Answer by ohwrite at 5:49 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • I dont think you are a bad mom. If I could suggest to tell your son when he gets older, like school age, that other familes do pretend that their is a santa. My kids believe in Santa, but they also know the real reason we celebrate Christmas, and why we get gifts. So when they are old enough to know that Santa isnt real, I'm hoping that it wont affect them at all. Beause to our family Christ being born is real, and will never change.

    Answer by chasNrico at 5:49 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • No you are not a bad mom at all for that. My 6 year old has NEVER believed in Santa because we chose not to convince him. He is fine, in fact he gets more excited about other people getting things for Christmas than he does about what he's getting. He likes to help pass out presents to everybody so much that he has to be reminded to open his own or they will just stack up. When he was school age I explained to him that some parents teach their kids that Santa is real and that he shouldn't tell them otherwise. It is up to their parents when to tell them the truth. He understood and we never had any problems with that. No worries, just do what you think is best. (-=

    Answer by Krysden at 6:10 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • I don't think that you arew a bad mom. I wasn't disappointed when I found out. I do remember that I was about 8 and I found out about the Easter Bunny, Santa and the Toothfairy all in one shot because we couldn't afford to have easter one year due to money issues. I just remember my mom telling us that we need to remember why we celebrate the specific holidays. I don't even know if we are going to tell our LO about Santa. She is 17 mos and I know her dad didn't know about Santa when he was a kid.

    Answer by coala at 6:10 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • we don't teach santa as big red fat man but as a historical person who is now dead

    Answer by ReachtotheStars at 6:16 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Why would you be a bad mom? That makes no sense. I guess every Jewish mother is horrible. You should at some point tell your child the story behind St. Nicholas because its so prevalent in out culture, and why some families enjoy the story more than others. You should also tell him its not right to ruin it for all the other families who like to enjoy the fantasy.


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:07 PM on Dec. 16, 2009