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Staying "Just friend" after feelings have been aired

I have a really close friend and we're awesome together, but we work together with his ex and mother of his child. I recently ended my 3 yr relationship and we're just not in a place to become anything right now. We had a talk and let the other one know how we feel even though nows not the time. He said that things may be different in a year but that we should just keep our awesome friendship for now. How do you put your feelings aside for the sake of the friendship? Especially after something physical has taken place?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on Dec. 16, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (2)
  • It's not easy. I had a friend some yrs ago, that we both confessed to having feelings for each other. Problem was we knew we could never work as a couple. Our friendship was quite strained (btw, we did have a "benefits" kind of relationship at times) for a very long time, and to this day (4 yrs later) it can still be a bit tense. Not b/c either of us still have feelings for each other, but just b/c once you make that kind of statement, things change. We now only talk on myspace/facebook, and only in passing. We also live in different states, so that contributes a bit. Our friendship never really regained that closeness, that real friendship, that it had before we admitted to our feelings. You will have to really work at it if you want to keep your friendship. I sincerely hope that you can make it work. Best of luck, hon!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:15 PM on Dec. 16, 2009

  • Thank you, I'd like to think that things will still be the same, and it will def be a lot of work. He's very important to me, but now I find my mind wandering and I don't want to turn it into a friends with benefits relationship.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Dec. 17, 2009